Who He Left Behind {Cash/Nameron, OneShot, Suicide}

This story is written in the eyes of Cameron Dallas as he tries to comprehend the suicide of his friend Nash Grier. This story is about suicide, and the aftermath that is caused by it. Please do not read this if you are overly sensitive to the topic of suicide, or any variation thereof. This is only a oneshot,

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It's been a week since Elizabeth told me that Nash had killed himself. I booked the very next flight to Charlotte to help his family with anything they needed. As soon as I got to my hotel, I called all of the MagCon boys. One by one, they all had the same answer. Shock, no one expected this. We didn't even know he was depressed, let alone suicidal. I didn't know my best friend was suicidal...

I looked in the mirror, before straightening my tie. I still haven't told his fans yet, I don't even know how to bring it up. I have no idea what to say. I can feel the tears welling up when I look down at my phone to check the time, but, I push them back. I haven't cried yet, his family needs someone to be strong. I don't have time to cry. It's 9:52 AM, his viewing is at 10:30. I sigh softly, running my hand through my hair, I guess I should go. I grab the keys to my rental, and head to the door. Are you ready? I question, mentally preparing myself. "No." I whisper, and walk through the door.

I'm driving to the funeral home now, I can feel my hands on the wheel, but I can't even focus. The GPS is telling me where to turn, but I'm not listening. So many questions, and not an answer to be found. Why didn't I see it? I'm his best friend, and I didn't even notice that he wasn't happy anymore. Why didn't he tell me? I could have helped him, I could have done something. Anything. But, I don't blame him. I blame myself, I should have known, he was my best friend. He was more than my best friend. "Shit." I mutter under my breath, I just realized I missed my turn half a mile ago. Now I have to turn around and go back.. I really need to focus.

I can't focus. I can't focus at all, the damn GPS keeps recalculating, and I just want to drive into a wall. He didn't even leave a note, a vine, a tweet, nothing. He left nothing behind. It's as if he just wanted to stop existing. But, that's impossible, because we're all here still. Everyone he's ever talked to, smiled at, everyone. We're all here. I almost hit a car at the stop light, and slam on my brakes just in time. "GOD DAMNIT!" I shout, hitting my fists against the steering wheel. There's that stupid robotic british voice from the GPS again "Recalculating..."

I pull into the parking lot, and park next to Chad's car. He's been holding strong as well. I wonder how long we can keep this up? And, I push back the tears again. "Not yet..." I mutter, I'm not ready to cry yet, people need me. Just like I needed him.

I can feel the funeral doors in my hands, and I pull them. I don't want to be inside here. I pull my phone out, and turn it off, but not before checking the time. It's 10:08. Time to check on everyone. I can see Hayes, Elizabeth, and Chad. I walk over to them slowly, and all I can feel is sadness. No tears right now, there will be time later, I promise. But, not right now.

Hayes has been crying, I can see it on his face as I lean in and pat him on the back, giving him a tight hug. He lost his older brother today. My pain is nothing compared to that. I'll be strong for him. And I let go of him, and look at Elizabeth.

I can see the tears on her face, as she tries to smile at me. Her son is dead, and I didn't get to help him. I let him down, and, I let her down. I hug her tightly. "I'm sorry" I whisper, my voice cracking and barely audible. She doesn't say anything, though, she just squeezes me tighter. I know she blames herself just like I do. Not yet. No tears yet, be strong for her. I'll cry later, I promise. And, then, there's Chad.

His eyes are glazed over, but, there's no tears yet. He just stares in front of him, barely acknowledging my existence. I'm not even sure he completely realizes it's me standing in front of him. He nods at me, and I wrap my arms around him. His little boy is gone, and, I didn't even know he needed saving. I'm a shitty friend. "Just hold out for a little longer, then it'll be okay." I lied to him. It'll never be okay. I let all three of them down. I don't think he even heard me. I guess it's going to be a race to see who cracks first today. I pull away from him, and I wipe my face with my hands. I just want to stop thinking. And, I bite back the tears again. Be strong for Nash, for Hayes, for Elizabeth, and even though he won't admit it, for Chad. I can cry later, and I will. I promise.