Eternal Flame

Chapter 5

Ezra's POV

"Aria Montgomery?" The nurse calls and Aria immediately gets up, "Room 5, third door on your right."

"Thank you." We say and start walking towards the door.

"Wait." I say as I stop her from knocking on the door and take her hands in mine, "I know I've told you this before but don't forget that we're in this together and that I'm here for you no matter what happens in this room. I love you and nothing will ever change that."

"Thank you." She says and squeezes my hand, forcing a smile. She then takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

After greeting us, the doctor asks Aria to follow her for an examination, as she needs to confirm the prior diagnosis in order to find the best solution for us. She tells me it won't take too long and that I can wait here and they leave soon after that.

Before the wedding, Aria and I had a long conversation about this topic. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt when she told me that she'd thought I'd left her at the altar. I remember thinking that if she knew me she would never believe that for a second but all the hurt disappeared as soon as I realized that the only reason why she had even considered that option was because she believed that she had let me down. She felt like she wasn't enough.

A couple days later, when everything was back to normal, we sat down on the couch to have a real talk. I asked her to tell me everything that had happened from the beginning and only interrupted when I didn't understand something.

"Why don't we make an appointment with another doctor? I'll find the best in the state or even in the country. Maybe the diagnoses were wrong. Maybe-"

"Ezra," she starts, with a sad smile on her face, "Do you really believe that three diagnoses are wrong?" She asks, "I know where you're coming from, I do. I've been there. I always wanted to believe that the new diagnosis would be different but it never was. I was fooling myself and in the end, getting my hopes up only made things worse."

"But-"

"I know you don't understand this but I can't go through that again. I can't. I don't want to go to another cold white room only to have a different doctor tell me the exact same words."

"What about we go to a fertility specialist? Maybe there's something we can do."

"Ezra-"

"I'm not saying we have to do it tomorrow or next week." I tell her, "I don't want to pressure you or to make you do something you don't want to do. I just.. I think this is something we should do but if you don't want to, I accept that. Just please think about it."

"Ok. I'll think about it." She replies and I smile and kiss her.

"Thank you." I tell her and squeeze her hands.

We had been in rosewood for a couple weeks when Aria asked me if I could make an appointment so I called the clinic before she could change her mind and made an appointment with the best fertility specialist in the state.

I get up when I hear the door open and take Aria's hand in mine as soon as she's by my side. The doctor sits down in front of us soon after that and I squeeze Aria's hand as if to remind her she's not alone in this.

"As I told you, I needed to do this examination so I could confirm the prior diagnosis." The doctor stars, "The first thing I have to tell you is that I confirm the diagnosis. I'm sure you already know the implications of this condition so I'm not going to get into detail. Nonetheless, if there's something you don't understand or if you have any doubt, feel free to ask." She says, "Even though cervical stenosis may complicate or even prevent the use of intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization procedures there are a couple treatments for this condition." She adds and then gives us more details about them, "It's important that you keep in mind that a pregnancy is not impossible in your case but it's highly unlikely and if it happens, the risk of miscarriage is high."

"What do you suggest we do?" Aria asks and even though she's trying to hide it, I know she's not ok. I can hear the heartbreak in her voice.

"Consider every single option you have." She replies, "I know this isn't easy, especially for you, Aria, but there's always a solution, don't forget that."

*

I glance at Aria a few times on our way home and my heart breaks a little bit more every single time. She hasn't said a word since we left the clinic but I know this situation is affecting her a lot more than she's willing to admit and, knowing Aria as well as I do, I know it'll take a while for her to open up and talk about how she's feeling.

Wanting to give her time to process everything that just happened, and not wanting to pressure her, I stay silent during the ride home as well.

I know this isn't her fault. This is just how she is. As Ella told me, many years ago, when Aria's hurt and wants to shut someone out, 'you could die of frostbite'. But the truth is: I wish she would talk to me about these things. I know she's hurting but I am too and even though I know this is worse on her than it is on me, I wish she didn't feel the need to hide her feelings from me.

As soon as we arrive, Aria gets out of the car and runs upstairs and I quickly follow her. I catch her by the door, where she's struggling to put the key in the lock so I gently take it from her and open the door. She slowly walks in and I follow her, closing the door behind me. "Ar-"

She turns around, wraps her arms around me and starts crying before I can finish. "It's ok, Aria. It's going to be ok." I whisper in her ear but she doesn't reply. Instead, she keeps crying, her tears soaking my shirt and her cries shattering my heart into pieces.

It takes her a while, but she eventually starts calming down and once she's calm enough and has stopped crying, I take her to the couch and we sit down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, knowing that she'll most likely say not, so I am surprised when she nods. I don't pressure her and give her the time she needs to think about what she's feeling and what she wants to say.

"I'm sor-"

"No." I cut her off, "There's nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault, Aria."

"It is!" She replies and wipes away the tears rolling down her face, "It is, Ezra. All of this is my fault. I'm the reason why we can't have children and I don't care what you say I know this is important for you. I know you've always wanted to have kids and I destroyed that dream and I will never forgive myself for that. " She says and I'm about to reply when she continues, "Don't Ezra. I know what you're going to say but we both know it isn't true. You can say that being with me is more important than having kids. You can even try to make yourself believe that but we both know that it is a lie."

"It isn't, Aria." I say and get closer to her, cupping her face in my hands, "I love you and nothing will ever change that. I don't want you to blame yourself for something you can't control. The fact that you can't have kids doesn't change anything. We can still have a family. We are going to have a family, Aria. I'm going to be a father and you are going to be a mother. An amazing mother." I tell her, " I know the treatments have risks and there is no guarantee they'll work but we can try. And I know the chances are low, but it's not impossible that you get pregnant. Miracles happen to those who believe." I say and squeeze her hands, "And there's always adoption. I know some people say it's not the same and I have to agree but only if biologically speaking. Parenthood doesn't require DNA. It requires love.
Look, I don't know what's going to happen. No one does. All I know is that I love you and that we will get through this. And you don't always have to be the strongest one, Aria. You can cry, scream even punch a wall. And don't forget that you can tell me everything that is going through your mind. 'For better and for worse', remember?"

"For better and for worse." She confirms, "Thank you." She says and rests her head on my chest after wrapping her arms around me.

"Nothing to thank me for." I reply and kiss her head.

A/N
Hey guys!
Sorry for last week but I didn't like what I had and I couldn't post it. This turned out a lot better than what I had last week.
Hope you liked it and don't forget to vote and comment.
Love you all
See you next week💛😘