A Different Kind of Love

R o t

    When I told him I wanted to lie beside him in my final moments, it seemed to scare him. He turned over on the bed we were resting on, arching his eyebrow at me.  He knew this was normal of me, talking of the end and not of a simple life with a dog and a suburban home. I had no interest in such things. I was more interested in forever and what comes after. It was important for me to know that I wouldn't die alone now that someone actually wanted me. The thought of feeling the pain of being alone in my last moments haunted my thoughts. 

   My need for his affection grew as I returned his gaze, meeting his blue orbs. Each time I looked him I believed in God. Hell, I almost considered him my God. I might as well, for he was the only one I could put my faith in. I stared at the boy for a moment. I meant what I said. When I take my last breaths, I want him beside me, no matter the situation. That's all anyone should want, a person to hold them in the end. I would've also stated that I wanted to be buried alongside him in the same coffin, that way I'll always have him, but he wouldn't care for all the death talk. 

   He was innocent in that sense, thinking of nothing but right now and how to make the most of it, and that's why I held him so close. He filled the hole that I could not, one of commitment for this bond to last in the present and not just in the afterlife. I loved this boy with everything I had. I was ready to give up everything for him with a promise of reuniting in the afterlife. 

   The boy muffled something that I couldn't make out, and I sighed at him as he moved his gaze down to my chest, now avoiding my eyes. I asked him to speak up like I always did when he was too quiet for my ears to reach his angelic voice. Of course, he had to hesitate and say it hardly any higher than the time he muffled it. I caught onto it this time, however, and it was about how he didn't want to think of such a situation just yet and how I should stop thinking of such ridiculous things. 

    I couldn't help but smile at him, cupping his face as I inched closer to him. He moved his eyes to my lips, disregarding my eyes entirely. I called out his name quietly, trying to be soft and reassuring to him. It was the least I could do.  I told him that I knew he didn't love the idea of us dying, but I was only stating my feelings. I had no intention of dying anytime soon.  He smiled his soft smile, finally meeting my eyes again. Damn, how I wanted to swim in those ocean eyes and be lost in him, surrounded in his comfort. 

   "I promise I'll be right beside you forever. Right here." I spoke the truth. Leaving him was the last thing I ever wanted to do, and even then, I wanted him to be with me.

   He leaned in closer to me, and I could feel his breath against my lips. I smiled. Maybe not entirely at him, but at the thoughts swarming my mind. I leaned in, closing the small gap between our mouths, kissing him gently. I could feel him kiss me back with the same gentleness, and I could feel a small smile against my lips as I slid my hands down to his waist, pulling him into an embrace. When he was with me, everything was right. I knew that this was the boy I wanted to rot away with under six feet of soil when our time came.  

~

this is not chapter one