My self harm recovery

I had friends.They where sharp,shinny and all ways there for me when no one else was.I could drag them across my wrist to feel pain,to know I was still alive in this hell.They where my friends that are known as self harm.

The hate I got given.it was all to much.I took it to heart.I thought it was true.Why would they do this to me.there must be something wrong with me for then to be so nasty!I couldn't find a way out.I was stuck in what I thought was hell.

one night i was sitting in tears and I suddenly seemed to glance over at my stationary set.when a shinny sharpener lit up like a diamond in the dark.I thought it would be okay.I thought I'd only do it once.just a few scratches.. but that wasn't at all what it turned out like.Every night I ended up doing at least 5 deep cuts.it was uncontrollable. it was an addiction.

for a long time I kept it to myself until I thought I was getting out of hand.I told one of my closest friends...but when she found out she started blaming it on herself.she thought ifbshe had never done it that I wouldn't have.i couldn't believe she thought that.I tried to tell her that it was my idea to do this,that it had nothing to do with her.all she ever did was be there for me.

a short time after that I tried to kill myself but I just couldn't get the guts to swallow them pill so I dropped them to the floor and turned to my blade once again.

a few mouths later I met a boy who looked over my self harm and saw the good in me.He tried to help so much by taking my blades away by doing anything that could stop me form cutting.but it didn't work every time he took my blades I would get new ones over and over again.i would make him sad by harming myself.I thought that he was way to good for me.every time i did something if it was cutting or just getting angry he would stick by me.I had two people in my life that I loved and care for.if I wasn't for them I wouldn't be here.They are more then I could ever ask for.

my best friend was also going though depression and self harm but was recovering much better then I was.I started to think I was putting her back.by me still cutting and her trying not to.but this girl has been though thick and thin with me and we wasn't going to split off now!we managed to get help.but still on this day we are both still self harming.we are slowly but surely getting to recovery. and I wish every one who is going though depresstion,self harm or any other problems the best of luck! xxx