Coming Home

January 6, 2006

6:00 AM

The man bows his head in prayer, asking for the strength and guidance to raise his two little girls by himself. He will only allow himself this short time to fall apart and feel the loss of his one true love. After this he needs to be strong for his family. He sobs in agony, breath catching with each intake as the reality crashes in. His love for her will last lifetimes as will his promise to take care of their girls.

5:00 AM

The man rushes into her hospital room. The recent news about her condition has not fully sunk in. His wife's frail body is laying on the bed, hooked up to so many machines. Machines that pumping her heart and filling her lungs with air. Tasks her brain can no longer command her body to complete. It had been a long fight for her, spanning the last seven years. This last year had been agonizing for the both of them. He knows what he has to do. Her suffering needs to come to an end. He sits down beside her, he grabs her hand. The love of his life minutes away from death, he struggles to choke out his last goodbyes and last promises. He calls to the rest of her family to give them their last farewells. Together they stand with her as the machines are silenced and she takes her last breath.

4:00 AM

Buzzzzzz, buzzzzz, buzzzz, He wakes up with a sense of dread that is solidified by the phone number filling his screen. "Hello, this is Mark" He answers. "Mr. Murphy we are sorry to inform..." the doctor's voice fades away to ringing as the man tries to comprehend what he was hearing. She is only there to get more fluids and observation. This can't be right. No. The doctor has the wrong patient. How can things escalate so quickly? He will later find out that the blood clot that traveled to her lungs was formed unexpectedly. The clot caused her lungs to stop working and her heart to stop beating. The doctors were able to revive the beat of her heart, but her brain had been deprived of oxygen for too long. His wife was brain dead. His chest seizes, his stomach drops. In a daze, he makes the hardest phone calls he will every make in his life. He doesn't know how he makes it to the hospital. His heart is pounding louder and louder with each step closer and closer to the hospital's doors. He takes a steadying breath and walks through.

3:00 AM

It had been years since she has felt like herself, years since she hasn't felt a constant ache deep down to her bones. There is a sharp pain in her chest, please make it stop, I can't do this anymore. Suddenly memories of the past year fill her dreams. The trips to the hospital, the dry heaving, the sadness in the eyes of her loved ones. They flash before her like a movie reel. An overwhelming brightness appears. "Is it time for me to come home?" she questions hopefully. In answer she feels the welcoming warmth drain her misery away. She faintly hears the shouting of nurses and orders of doctors. She feels the presence of love but also their profound sadness. The world she knows is growing distant as the strength she once had flows through her soul again. She knowingly makes a silent promise to watch over her family. "Thank you my love, for letting me go". Now she is ready to be free.