compulsive

"goodbye, see you tomorrow"

"goodbye, see you tomorrow." haechan said softly to his boyfriend. renjun responded with an 'i love you' before hanging up the phone. a soft smile found it's way on onto his face. they had made a habit of calling before one of them were heading to bed, it was lovely. he had told him he was going to sleep soon, but now he was regretting lying to him.

there were a lot of bad decisions that renjun made while being highly caffeinated, but they were usually pretty tame and had no real impact on his life. but now that he was outside in the middle of the night, with only his pyjamas covering his thin body, he was starting to question his own judgment.

actually, that last sentence was a lie.

Renjun didn't see anything wrong with his impulsive behaviour. He couldn't see anything wrong with walking the streets at night in his pjs. It was fine. It was not normal behaviour for normal people, he knew that. but it was fine anyways, it was normal to him. He didn't want to see the negative sides of his actions.

Sleeping during the night time had always been a difficult concept for renjun to firmly grasp a hold of, and most of the time he was unwillingly left awake until the sun began to rise. only then would his body decide that it could finally rest for a bit. it's more than a little frustrating, Renjun though. it left him with less time to be around Haechan.

oh Haechan. sweet, lovely, beautiful Haechan. Every time renjun though about his boyfriend the thousands of butterflies living in his stomach would twirl around until he got sick. He loved him. he really did. he loved him a lot. They had been dating for almost six months now, and Renjun didn't understand at all how he got so lucky. Haechan really did deserve way more that the horrible screw-up of a person Renjun was. But for some weird and unknown reason he put up with him. he was eternally grateful for that.

Renjun quickened his pace once he saw that the clouds beginning to gather in the sky. Up to now, the sky had been postcard-perfect, but it was changing. The beautiful deep-blue shade filled with yellow and white glowing stars spread like freckles was beginning to darken into pitch black.
Large pillows of cloud were forming, blotting out the old-white colour of the moon.
He got the first splatter of rain when he was halfway across the field in the park. Renjun took shelter under an old oak, hoping that he could see out the rain shower.

Droplets of moisture began to drip from the leaves. They were sprinkling onto the grass like a gardener's hose. Then the rainfall became more intense. A wall of rain moved over the oak and the drops were drumming against the canopy. So much rain was falling that the sound blurred into one long, whirring noise. It reminded him of the rotor blades on a helicopter. It didn't seem like it was just a small shower and it looked like the rain was just getting heavier by the minute, so Renjun decided to walk out from under the tree. What was the point of staying in the shelter for forever.

His feet brought him to Haechan's door, without him even having to think about it. Renjun was about to ring the doorbell, but then he remembered that it was midnight and the younger was probably fast asleep by now.
It didn't take him long to find the hidden spare key, though, so he just unlocked the door and went inside. He hoped haechan wouldn't mind him bursting into his apartment- his home, like this. He just couldn't stand the overwhelming silence that filled his own place, it was screaming and deafening, Renjun hated it.

sure enough, he was right, haechan is asleep. renjun finds him in his bedroom. He was sitting on his office chair, his head and upper body sprawled onto his desk in a position that sure didn't look very comfortable. he must have fallen asleep when doing his homework, renjun thought. haechan did have a tendency to overwork himself. he turned off the lamp standing on the desk and the harsh white lighting disappeared and the room got painted pitch black, the only source of lighting coming from the lampposts standing on the sidewalk outside. they honestly didn't help even a little bit.

once his eyes had gotten more used to the dark, renjun carefully tried to lift up his boyfriend. he struggled a little bit, but once he had gotten a good hold on him it was simpler. thankfully he wasn't as weak and scrawny as he looked like. he carried the sleeping figure over to the queen sized bed and put him down as carefully as he could, not wanting to wake him up. Renjun put the blanket over haechan's sleeping body.

there, that must be more comfortable.

renjun couldn't help but let out a quiet squeal when looking at haechan. the boy was just too damn cute. his wavy hair laid messily over the pillow and his soft features looked even softer when he was asleep. a bright smile found it's way on to renjun's face. he really didn't understand how he got so lucky as to be haechan's boyfriend.

renjun's gaze goes away from haechan's angelic face and over to the digital alarm clock on the nightstand. it's around the 3am mark, and renjun finds himself drifting over to haechan's bedroom window. the apartment was on the top floor, so he was able to look out over most of the deserted street under them. it was a quiet town in general, but this street in particular had next to no life surrounding it, even in the height of the day. despite this, however, the building across from haechan's, functioned as a book store, with an apartment above where the owner lived. renjun had always found this incredibly strange for some reason.

the strange thing about it was that the shop itself rarely seems to attract any people during the day, but by some weird miracle it had remained open. haechan had told him that the bookstore had been there his entire life, and his mother had used to go there when she was younger. neither haechan nor renjun had ever seen the owner, though. and in all the years he had lived here haechan hadn't ever entered the store. in was in the night time, when the small bookstore sees the most life.

with his back settled against the wall, renjun rested his forehead on the cool glass in the pitch black of haechan's bedroom. he was silently watching the street as the time slowly ticked over to 3am. and like clockwork, renjun watched as the various kinds of people slowly appeared and made their way into the shop, though none ever seemed to look his way thankfully.

he continued to sit there in silence, wondering about what the lives of the people who walked into the little bookstore was like. renjun made up small scenarios and stories in his head about them. he sat there until all his thoughts became nonsensical thoughts without any meaning, until the first orange hued rays of sunrise kissed the darkness of the night goodbye.

sunrise always brought a sense of joy and satisfaction to renjun, but this morning was even more special. the morning's sunrise was a breathtaking display of radiant colors. he watched as the bright streaks of red, pink, and orange slowly overcame the dark blue and purple of the twilight sky. the sky resembled a prism; all the colors blended perfectly into each other. the sun itself was just peeking out of the horizon, and it's brilliant rays already shined brightly and began to warm the air. renjun marvelled at the break of dawn and a thrilling feeling of awe swept over him.

along with the feeling of warmth and content came sleepiness. renjun felt some sort of blackness come over him. in a way like a blanket, but not a blanket of warmth but a blanket of coldness and emptiness making him shiver. but somehow it was making his eyes feel heavier and heavier. renjun finally closed his eyes, finally sending his tired mind into a dreamless sleep.