Abandoned Love

18.

"Harry, why aren't you wearing a dress?"

"Do-do Ale- Y-you have to go?" Harry said, weeping, in Alex's arms. Alex rubbed the little boy's back.

"I do darling but I'll try to keep in touch with you as much as I can. But you still have to tell me why aren't you wearing any dress? And since when do you like long sleeved shirts." Alex enquired while ensuring the boy.

Harry just whimpered in Alex's arms and prayed to God that she doesn't have to go again. Alex held the boy tight and mumbled assuring words in his ears.

Louis sat on the couch looking at the little whimpering boy and couldn't help but feel bad for him.

"Its going to be fine darling. You have us and Alex will be back soon." Eleanor assured Harry from beside Louis.

"As much as I hate that bloodsucking noodle, she's right. They will be here for you and I'll make sure I keep in touch with you." Alex whispered in Harry's ear.

Everyone kept assuring Harry but no one seemed to understand that he needed Alex more right now than any time else and he didn't expect anyone to. He needed support but he couldn't trouble Louis anymore. He had no one else left besides Alex but she was going too.

That was it. Harry had decided to be better. He shouldn't cry anymore. He had to be strong.

He untangled himself from Alex's arms and wiped his tears with the back of his palms. He stood in from of Alex.

"Har- No- I will miss A-Alex. Take c-care." That was all Harry said before quietly walking back to his room and shutting the door.

He couldn't take it. The fact that Alex was gone too. First Louis and the band had to suffer because of him and now Alex had to leave because he was always troubling Alex. That's the reason why Alex had to go away. He was the reason why everyone had to suffer in one way or the other.

This burning in his chest hurt. His brain and chest felt weird as if he should do something. Hurt something. But according to Harry, hurting someone was wrong. He couldn't hurt someone because he feel bad.

"But its okay to hurt yourself"

"No! No! No!" Harry whisper-yelled. It was back. He don't want it. He didn't want some voice inside his head. The voice was mean. He always said something bad.

"But I am right this time"

No he's not. Harry couldn't hurt anyone. Harry was sad and he should deal with this. He's strong. He's very strong.

"Are you?"

Was he?

"No you're not"

N-no He was strong and he won't hurt anyone. Harry decided that no one will suffer because of him anymore.

"I never said you have to hurt someone else."

Harry sat still on his bed, considering the option. The last time he accidentally scratched his nails against his wrist, he felt alright. This time shouldn't hurt that bad.

"That's right it won't and obviously you need to be punished for what you've done."