My Apple's Smile

August 7, 1947

She laughed, her prim curls bouncing. Her nose always scrunched when she laughed, and her eyes almost closed.

"Well," she said. "I believe you ought to tell your father what you're planning first."

"What, tell my dad that I want to teach? Nah, he'd laugh at me."

"I laughed."

"But you laugh kindly," I said. She laughed so damn kindly. "You don't laugh at people, you laugh for yourself. People can make you laugh, but it's not their hurt or their ideas you're laughing at."

She smiled and looked down at her lap. "You're too sweet, Jackie, I'm not half as great as you make me out to be."

She was wrong. She was everything I told her and more. She was love incarnate, and smart as a whip, and oh damn was she gorgeous! But it was a quiet kind of beauty; brown hair, big blue eyes, a tiny nose sprinkled with freckles. You wouldn't pick her out walking down the street as the most dazzling girl in the world, but as soon as you talked to her, as soon as you saw her eyes come alive, heard her voice sing as it told you a story, there was no question that even Aphrodite would willingly hand the crown of beauty to her.

"Carrie..." I looked up at her, at her shining eyes and bright smile, and oh my god, my heart went to racing again. It usually did around her, but right now...

She met my eyes, and something about them made her smile drop. But it dropped slowly, dripping, really. "You alright, Jackie?'

I smiled at her, and held her hand. It was warm, heated by her coffee mug on the table next to us. I hadn't held her hand before. But she held mine back. My smile grew so much I thought my cheeks were going to pop. "Carrie, ever since you moved in, years ago now, I- we've done a lot together, and, well, you're my Apple. And I-" Oh my god I couldn't say it. But I couldn't keep it to myself. No way in hell could I keep it quiet. Oh god I had to say it, didn't I? "I love you."

Terrified, I raised my eyes to look at her. There was a moment, a single heartbeat, where she looked just as afraid as I felt. Damn it, I'd ruined everything! She'd never talk to me again. She was scared, she was repulsed, she hated me. I'd lose my best friend and it was all my fault, damn it! Damn it to hell!

But then she smiled.

Praise God, she smiled! She squeezed my hand tighter. "You absolute idiot, it took you that long to say anything?"

I loved her. Oh my god, I loved her. "I didn't- you- I didn't want to lose you."

She laughed that brilliant, heart-racing laugh. "You'd have to try pretty hard to lose me, Jackie."

I don't know exactly what happened next, but all of the sudden her cheek was in my hand, my other hand on her back. She had one hand curled on my chest, the other held one of my curls between her fingers. Her forehead rested on mine. "Carrie, can I- can I kiss you?"

She smiled, and kissed me instead.