Accidental -Chaelisa-

2

Her face is barely illuminated by the only source of light in her room which was her phone that she scrolls through with glazed eyes.

The only discussions she see swarm the comments section and are all of one kind:

'OH MY CHAELISA HEARTUE'

"I knew it was real! Chaelisa forever!'

'It's about time they kissed! LiChaeng is officially canon! AJKHJKHCLFUJ'

Lisa sighs to herself silently as she shuts off her phone and places it on the dresser next to her. She leans her head back and lets her eyes travel through the darkness of her room, chocolate orbs already having adjusted to the eternal darkness.

Lisa has been avoiding Chaeyoung all day. In fact, she's been steering clear of everyone in their group. She's so embarrassed that she let something like this happen.

But at the same time...

There's a part of her that wants it again.

Her eyebrows furrow together and her trembling lips form into a pout as she feels her eyes become full with salty tears again.

Was it really so disgusting to Chaeyoung that they had accidentally kissed?

Was Lisa really that disgusting to her?

Lisa exhales out a shaky breath as she buries her head into her knees and allows herself to cry silently without refrain. Again. For the fourth time that day.

Two knocks echo through the wooden door to her room but the blonde doesn't bother to lift her head up to answer. She doesn't have enough energy to do even that.

"Lisa," the eldest calls gently. "We're about to have dinner so come downstairs. You already skipped lunch and you're gonna starve to death if you don't eat anything."

"..."

"Alright, I've had enough," the older girl snaps so suddenly that it surprises Lisa who spares a small glance with her doe eyes at the barrier between them. There's a loud thud against wood as though somebody walked into it. "Hey, what the- did you lock the door?"

The handle visibly shifts from both sides of the plank, the gears not budging.

"Lalisa Manoban, if you don't open this door right now-"

Lisa doesn't want to hear the rest of Jisoo's threat. The older girl had a surprisingly fiery rage so she opens the door without really meaning to.

"What do you want, unnie?" Lisa asks, half shielding herself from view from behind the door.

Jisoo grabs ahold of Lisa's wrist and drags her out of her room. "Eat. I don't care about what's going on with you and Chaeng as of right now. As your unnie, I'm going to take care of you when you don't. Even if that means shoving food down your throat or making you sit through and awkward meal."

"Can't I eat in my room?" Lisa asks, keeping her eyes glued to the carpeted floor.

"No. You've been there for hours. It's unhealthy to be cooped up for that long, pabo."

Lisa wants to whine, to throw a tantrum. But they've already reached the kitchen and she can't be so childish. So instead, she takes the chair next to Jennie, opposite to her unofficially assigned seat which was next to Chaeyoung.

The brunette, Lisa can see from her peripheral, doesn't look up at her. Lisa didn't expect her to, but it still makes her heart feel heavy.

Their dinner goes by fast but it feels too long for Lisa. Too long to be in the presence of Park Chaeyoung without uttering a single word to the girl.

She wants to say something so very desperately but the words anchor down to the lower boundaries of her constricting throat.

She doesn't know what she can even say to her.

So once they're done, Lisa heads back to her room without a single exchange with the chestnut haired girl.

——

It was the next morning and it was early. Nobody would be awake at this hour.

But Lisa stands in front of Chaeyoung's door, slim fingers hovering over the metal handle hesitantly.

She draws and withdraws her hand more times than she can count and Lisa doesn't know how long she stands there, repeating the same action as though she was rehearsing it.

Probably too long because the door pulls open and Lisa's eyes widen, initiating an accidental eye contact.

"Lisa."

It has only been 24 hours since she hears the voice that could only be described to be as smooth and sweet as honey utter her name, but it feels like an eternity.

"I-I was just- my room," Lisa stutters as she turns around to walk away. She needs to get away. But a hand stops her.

"Lisa, wait," Chaeyoung says, and Lisa wants to.

Oh, how she wants to stay.

But she's afraid of what the latter could say to her. Afraid of being lashed out at.

Afraid of rejection.

"I really have to go," Lisa pulls away as gently as she can and makes her retreat to her room, closing the door behind her for extra measure before she leans back on it for support.

'She doesn't like me. Not like that.' Lisa has to remind herself as she slides down in defeat.

'Why am I not good enough?'