Bonds

Chapter 1: The Present

           

It was a cold winter day. It had been a long time since it snowed here in Toronto, I think only once since I came here. The breeze bit through my coat as I stood on Humber bridge looking down at the icy lake in front of me, the festive lights flashing all over the city.

It was Christmas time and most families were out and about in the city. People shopping their last-minute Christmas items, young kids cashing on the latest gadgets out there, couples roaming around obviously doing PDA in every corner you turn; the usual things. And me? Well I am enjoying the view here on this bridge and waiting for a friend.

I removed the cigarette from my lip and blew out the smoke that was formed in my lungs, it was rather cold today and even though I have been here for four months, I still couldn't get used to it. I put my left hand into the coat and felt the metal chain in the pocket.

I sighed. I still didn't know why I kept carrying this around.

I took out the chain and gave it a look, the silver shining faintly in the dark. A picture of someone, with that person's name on the back.  I looked at it for a while, my eyes in contemplation. Did it really have to become this way? I suddenly started to grip the chain harder and harder as the negative thoughts came over me, the betrayal, the dishonesty...The pain...

"Did I interrupt you?"

I looked behind me and saw a boy around my height, wearing baggy jeans and a loose coat over. He looked like he hadn't eaten for months.

"Oh, it's just you Legion." I said with disdain as I turned to look back at the view, putting the cigarette back in my mouth.

"Hello to you as well Ren." Legion replied as he came to join me on my sightseeing.

We stood in awkwardness for like a minute. I could notice Legion looking at me from the corner of his eye, but I paid no heed to it.

"So.. how are things going on in university?" I said, breaking the silence and releasing the puff of smoke.

"Well it's going pretty good actually, I got selected to be the Vice President for the literary club. And I am just in my first semester." He said while laughing, still looking at the smoke disperse in the air.

I gave a soft smile with my eyes closed.

"You always were the most poetic kid in our class." I said while putting the cigarette in my mouth.

"You know that thing is going to kill you one day, right?" He said pointing at my cigar.

"Emphasis on one day." I said jokingly still looking ahead.

"Fine," He sighed," how's Ace doing?"

"I have no idea, I haven't talked to him since I joined university." I said rather nonchalantly.

Ace and Legion both were my school friends back in Dubai. We had been the bests of friends since God knows how long and even though we separated due to us going different places to study, we eventually ended up in Canada to study most of our bachelors' course.

Legion looked kind of angry at the comment I made. I mean I understand that, who would brush off a close friend just like that?

"Are you serious dude? You guys were like the bests of friend and you don't even bother to communicate with him? Even if you are right next to each other? AND STOP SMOKING THAT DAMN CIGARETTE." He said angrily as he took my cigarette from my mouth in a flash and threw it in the lake.

I just looked at the cigarette fly through the dark sky and fall in the lake with a 'sploosh'. I sighed and looking at him dully.

"I understand that your university life back in Dubai was pretty bad due to some people but that doesn't mean that you make it bad here.  You can really start fresh and from scratch. Quit this smoking and drinking habit you adopted because the Ren Faux I know stands up and tries again even if he keeps failing" He said while looking at me dead in the eye.

I just stared back at him keeping his gaze. Maybe you are right Legion, the old me would believe again and stand back up; he would do what's right, but you have to understand that I am not the same person anymore.

"You have changed Ren, you don't feel the same anymore."

Tell me something new Legion.

"But I still believe there is hope for you, a girl and a few unworthy friends don't define who you are. If you need me I am always here for you, but really you need to figure out yourself first..  Calculator.. you have to learn how to care again." He said as he tucked his hands inside his coat and walked away towards his car.

My eyes were wide open when he called me by my old nickname. Damn.. I hated that name. I saw him drive away into the distant light in the city. Probably went to see his girlfriend; I forgot to ask how she is doing.

I put my hand in my pocket again where I found another piece of cigarette, this time, a very heavy one that I keep for special occasions. I lit it up and put it into my lips.

Legion, it really doesn't matter what any of you see me as now.  That Ren you knew was always a fake one who adheres to the rules of society. The one you see now, uncaring, ruthless, egoistic is the real one.  I blame myself really for falling and trusting on bonds, relationships, friendships because for me, it just doesn't work out for me.  All I see people now as tools who are there for me to just use to win.  In the society and the world we live in, winning is everything. And I am the person who lost, way too much.  When it comes to losing Legion, I am the strongest.

Do you really believe in that Ren..?

I blow out the smoke in my lungs as I look up in the sky.

Even though I say I lost everything, even though I feel cold both literally and figuratively, why do the stars still remain..?