"Dont forget about me"

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     ☁️Castiel☁️. (Btw he's not really a "nerd" although he is intelligent, but he's emo so get images of sweater vests out of your head~)

«one year ago»
    Laying back under MY spot. My happy place. It was only a clearing in a field, nothing big. I go here when I need to think, or have an idea..I never took in things like sounds, or the natural colors. I was to numb. I still am.

Hi. I'm Castiel Novak. And I'm as straight as a bent stripper pole.

I'm laying flat on my back, listening to the silent breeze blowing past my ears, and rustling the tall autumn, grey grass. I soon got bored of listening to the quiet, so I sit up and open my binder I carry with me. It was a dark blue, wide zip-up one so it could carry everything I needed. I open it, grabbing by phone from one of the pockets. Quickly deciding I'm in a twenty one pilots mood. Clicking on you tube, I flip through their songs, until I stop, my thumb hovers above the song "doubt". Hesitantly, I click on it. Immediately, my ears are filled with the sound of artificial music, electro pop you might call it, this goes on before Tyler finally sings, I lay back down it was now getting dark. "Scared of my own image"

"Scared of my own immaturity"

"Scared of my own ceceiling

"Scared I'll die of uncertainty"

"Fear my be the death of me, fear leads to anxiety, dont know what's inside of me," "Don't forget a bo-bo-bo-bout me." I silently whisper only I could here. No sound came out. I close my phone.
I should problably be getting home by now. Not really that anyone would actually care, but I had school tomorrow. I loved school, well, most of it..beside the fact that I didn't have any friends, and I got bullied everyday, I enjoyed the learning, despite what others think, I want to go to college and have a husband, or kids, and to think about it..some parts of dont think I can make it. There is a huge weight on my shoulders , and I carry it with me everywhere I go.  

As I'm walking home, a breeze blowing softly at my hair making me shiver, I rub my arms without thinking. A fresh cut began bleeding, I was getting better at falling out of my coping until yesterday,
                (Flash back and TW)
I was cleaning the mess my father made. He threw a glass beer bottle at my head, that luckily, I dodged it as it was hurdling towards my head. I cleaned and ran to my room locking the door and securing it in place with a chair. And flipping myself over onto my box- spring lazily thrown in the corner. I grab my blade, my rustic exact blade. One cut two three cut four, blood slowly pooling from my fore-arm. I cried or an hour, and then got to bed. Climbing on to it, for the first few hours I struggle to sleep, thoughts flowing into my brain like ocean waves and right now, it was high tide. Eventually the tide went back to its home, the ocean and I was able to 'not so peacefully' rest, but with the amount of crap that happened today, I need it. It's not like anything is changing anytime soon.

Oh boy was I wrong.

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Hi guys! I'm Oliver, and this is my first chapter in my first well dedicated book! I've been delaying the work of this for a few weeks considering I have a chorus con, and it's thanksgiving!
So happy giving of the thanks!! Hope you have a wonderful time- for the ones who celebrate it!💕~forever yours, Ollie.

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