it was probably something close to the feeling of drowning. if you were to ask me to explain, i wouldn't stand a chance- it would eat me alive before a word flowered out of my mouth. everytime someone attempts to reach out, i try, i try so hard to grab on to the words they speak, to convince myself i still had a chance to reach land again. but the overpowering power of the ocean thinks otherwise, deciding that she needs me for longer; and washes away anyone from above. she scolds at me, whispering her knowledge about the sweet release of death, and the way she paints the picture, it seems to be better than the entirety of life itself. the way she plants the idea of death makes you think of long, green fields scattered with bright bold sunflowers, painting worthy sunsets, the smell of the sea, and the laughter of a thousand children. she calls me her little foolish girl, and when she's feeling generous, she'll put a flower in my hair. some days she does her job in convincing me that i need to be there, and other days i use the memories of the life before the ocean to silence her for a few moments. she tries to make me say that i need her, but that is one thing she'll never succeed in, because i know that if i give in, the thought of land will fade, and sooner or later i'll be in the fields. sometimes i reach the top of the daunting sea, and have one finger out, but no one is ever there to grab on. they all just carry on to leave me to drown back to the sea bed, which they'll then ask if i need help. it's a vicious circle, and no one had ever thought to break it- not even myself. but then, i met her. she was the silver lining to every cloud, the giver of land, the person who saved the world from the vicious attacks they attempted on each other. she was the sun, and all i was was the moon. she was all the stars in the sky, and i was merely the rocks in the mud. but somehow, she saw something in me, something deep inside with those big beautiful brown eyes, and thought that i deserved something from her. she was the one who instead of staying above and just slipping their arm over the vicious water, dived straight in. she fought of the words the sea spoke to her, and grabbed me by the waist. she smiled, and the whole world stopped for a few seconds. her beauty was like nothing i had never seen before- she glowed with all the beauty of the earth, the essence of purity, it was like she was carved by the finest tools, because her smile was what washed the ocean away. it shone so brightly, and it never died out. she giggled, and it was the sweetest song i had heard. "my dear, it is quite rude to stare."
