Be with me

1. Hard.

Do you ever just like so many guys that you don't even know who you actually like anymore?
Well that's my problem. There are so many guys! It's so hard to choose one. I've only ever had one boyfriend... that lasted a week. He was very clingy very quickly.
I enjoyed sitting next to my best friend in fifth period in eighth grade but as soon as we started dating he sat next to me. He would always put his arm over my chair, I didn't lean back at all while we were dating. Oh and that's not all! I'd be sitting in my seat and there would be like five seats around us that were empty and guess what he did. Sat in my chair, like excuse me but I like my own chair. So I sat in the floor.
Anyways, the point is I'm not good with relationships. I like this guy named Anthony now and a guy named Oden, and can't forget about August although he's kind of a jerk..
I'm having a hard time knowing who I actually like. When you go from liking one guy to another in a snap because they aren't interested in you can kind of confuse your emotions.
I haven't even introduced myself, lord. My name is Isla. Isla Thomas. And I am a socially awkward fifteen year old. I'm in tenth grade and now you know the problem I have. Don't worry, I'm focusing on school. But I still struggle with keeping my eyes off of the boys at my school.
I observe a lot of things so when I see a boy I like I try and observe him and analyze what could possibly be going through his head. Yeah I know, it sounds a little creepy and weird but it's the truth.
I'm pretty sure most of the dudes at my school think I'm weird and yeah, they're right. But I also like talking to people I know. So if they actually attempted to talk to me I'd talk right back. I'd eventually get used to them. I'm just that type of person, a lot of people are like that. But for some reason my parents think it's weird. Like, sorry I'm focused on school because I know that once we're out of school popularity won't matter. So I get a lot of lectures. My parents seriously thought I was lesbian because I don't date. Yeah, you heard me right.

At this very moment me and my friends are sitting in a veterans program. Not much is happening so I'm just thinking. I start looking around and- oh yeah I forgot! Right across the gym in the junior section is my crush Dani. He's been my crush since I first met him, which was probably six or seven years ago. It's so crazy, he's just now gotten to the point of saying hi when we pass each other in the halls. And he's pretty outgoing, although a lot of girls don't like him which shocks me but hey, that means a better chance for me!
Pretty sure most of my crushes know I like them like Anthony and Dani. Dani is actually a family friend of mine and that's how I know him. I was at his house one time and I went up the stairs to get my step dads (Christoper) keys and Dani was doing his homework and early college work. As soon as I walked into the kitchen he just looked up and kept looking at me. I'm one of those people that gets all giggly when someone stares at me, especially my crushes.. so as embarrassing as you could imagine I started giggling really weirdly and said "haha! Got to get Christopher's keys! Haha!" And grabbed them, let me remind you that he's still staring dead at me. I quickly turned around and thought about how stupid I was and sighed. Before I walked out he said "goodnight Isla." It was a small sentence but it made me smile and I said "goodnight Dani."
I was still lost in my thoughts until one of my friends, Em, poked me in the side. It kind of hurt but mostly scared me.
"Stop staring off at Dani and pay attentionnnn" she seemed kind of annoyed but I stop looking anyways.
Dani is that type of guy where he is very good looking and popular and fit but he doesn't date. To be honest I don't think I've ever seen him with a girlfriend. No matter how much he goes out with friends and stuff, I'm pretty sure he focuses more on school than anything. Everyone says he's sure to be valedictorian for his grade. I try my best in school and I still come out with A's and B's.
He has brownish blonde hair, built bulky and tan but not at the same time. He loves shoes, like I love adidas but he's probably shame me for wearing them. But that's just how he is.
Back on the subject though. I told you a lot about Dani, time for me to tell you about Anthony. Anthony is a skinny dude but he's fit, he almost has a six pack because he runs. A lot. But that's not what matters, he's super nice and funny and very sarcastic. Which is probably why I like him. I don't talk to him much because whenever my friends invite him places he's always so busy except for when I have a party.
He has brown hair and tan skin and he's the type to wear shorts 24/7 and t-shirts. But I like that too so...
Anyways! Onto Oden, Oden is what I like to call my lunch alert, short LA. Although he's a grade younger than me. Which I don't understand why that's so weird. Guys date girls younger than them and it's fine but for some reason it's weird when a girl dates a younger guy. So I'm not as confident about that one. He's skinny kind of like Anthony, fit, with brown hair so dark it could be called black, not tan but not pail. Also known to wear shorts and t-shirts or joggers and t-shirts. I don't really know him, never talked, just observed really.
Now you understand my problem. It's so confusing and hard. Hopefully someday I'll get a chance to actually talk to them all...

-Have a wonderful day, hope it's good so far!💙
-AB.💙