You win

Chapter Six

“Hey, I got you that spot in the paper,” Carter said as Maggie and I descended the stairs. He was on the couch in the living room.

I glanced at Maggie. “Uh, actually. I don’t really need it anymore?”

Maggie gave me a thumbs up.

“Are you serious?” he asked, standing up from the couch. “I went through a lot of trouble to get you that and you don’t even want it anymore?”

Maggie’s eyes widened and she slipped out the door.

“Yeah, it was a stupid idea,” I said, slumping down onto the stairs.

Carter came over to me and sat down on the stair below me. “What happened with you and Luke that day?” he asked, all the determination in the world present in his voice.

“Carter—” I started to protest, but he cut me off.

“I want to know, Caroline. He’s my best friend.” His tone was a little softer as he looked at me, but his jaw was still set.

“Then why don’t you ask him?”

“I did,” he said, examining the carpeted stair beneath him, all tension finally gone from his face. “But he wouldn’t tell me anything.”

How could I not tell Carter? He was involved in this whether I liked it or not. And this was just too huge to keep from him, this possible pivoting point in our lives. I sighed, forcing the words out. “You were right. I was going to use him to get revenge on you. Because I knew you’d be pissed—”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked, leaning away from me like I was toxic.

“Let me finish,” I snapped. I took a deep breath before continuing. “I was going to use him for revenge, but then I decided against it. Luke kissed me. And then you came in and now he thinks I was just using him as a pawn in one of our idiotic fights.”

“But you were,” he said.

“No I wasn’t!” I exclaimed. “I realized it would be a shit thing to do before I did it.”

“Then why did Luke kiss you?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? Sure, I had led him on a little. Okay, a lot. But he had been the one to close the gap from me to him.

I buried my head in my hands. “I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I don’t know. But Carter… it wasn’t just a kiss. It was more. It was right.”

I didn’t care about the disturbed look on his face. My heart was fluttering as much as a heart could flutter at the possibilities that kiss had opened up. Until Carter ruined it all. Until I ruined it all. We were both to blame.

“Carter,” I said, looking him in the eyes. We had the same big brown eyes. It was like looking into a mirror. People often mistook us for twins. When we were younger we used to pretend we were twins just to fool people, and then we would run and tell Luke about it and laugh at the gullible grownups we fooled. I swallowed. “Why’d you do it?”

He knew I was talking about the newspaper entry. He broke eye contact and cracked a few knuckles, a habit I despised.

“Do you not want me to be happy?” I asked with a frown. That wasn’t it—I knew that. But then what was it?

“Of course I want you to be happy,” he said harshly. He still wouldn’t look at me. I knew he wasn’t good with mushy-gushy stuff, so this was clearly hard for him.

“Then why?” I asked. “You knew how much I wanted that.”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal—”