-TANYA-
Life was so easy on everyone around me.
It's unfair how I had to endure so much suffering and heartbreak while some people out there just enjoyed their youth and lives and made other people miserable.
I'm Tanya Tileraven, and I'm 16. Welcome to my life. No, nit tape, but a simple story about my life and all the bitter meanings that come along with it.
I brought bad luck to the world the day I was born. I was unwanted and useless.
I didn't mean anything to anyone.
My mother was a prostitute and my father was her sugar daddy
My twin sister commited suicide and my step brother despised me
Whenever I looked at the mirror all I saw was dissapointment and failure staring right back at me.
Right now I'm doing that exact thing-staring at my own reflection on a lake. I wasn't alone, I always had Noah come accompany me.
He is the only nice living thing in this planet. He's a loyal friend, but I felt like he just didn't exist sometimes. He faded right into the picture, and honestly I was grateful for that. At least we were lonely together.
We sat in silence as I lit my cigarette. The scenery displayed in front of us was breath taking. The lake was calming and peaceful, as if we're at a graveyard. The moon hung on the sky with grace and beauty as the moonlight showered me and Noah in it. The trees around us were swaying simultaneously, and the cold air swirled around us. The sky was dark, but it was wondrous, how we could spot the moon and the stars. I cuddled myself whilst Noah lied on the dead fallen leaves. I inhaled sharply and let the gas from the cancer stick flow into my lungs, giving me an unfelt warmth flowing throuout my body.
My mind was at ease whenever I went here this time of the night, with my cigarette and Noah beside me.
And as always, I felt sadness whenever I just gaze away at the lake in front of me and the lit cigarette between my delicate fingers. I always felt ashamed at who I'd become.
I used to be so hopeful no matter what obstacles life had prepared for me. I remained positive in dark times and stayed strong. When I was 10, I planned the things I would do when I turned 18- collect all my extra earnings I recieved from work, run away, book a ticket to New York and live my life there without my broken family. And now, I just laughed at the hysterical thought.
