Wolf (UNDER SOME SERIOUS REVISION)

Chapter Twenty-Five: Trying

P E R C Y U S

     I watched her small form run from the room like hell was on her heels, by nose picking up the recognisable scent of her salty tears. Her small hand pushed on the door as she exited and it closed, the sound of her footsteps silenced. I didn't know how it was possible to miss the noise of someone's footsteps.

     I immediately felt a hole pierce my heart as she left, like a knife, twisting and pulling. I had fucked up - no, my WOLF had fucked up. That prick used me to kiss her when I knew wholeheartedly she was not ready. She was too scared still, too shy. I was supposed to respect her bpunrdaries and patiently wait, but I hadn't. I probably scarred her for life, all because I couldn't keep my own wolf in control. I was disgusted with myself, absolutely ashamed of my actions.

     I clenched my good fist tightly, so hard that it shook with the force. I turned around and slammed it into the wall, my fist going through the wood like it was water. I pulled it out and punched it again and again until the wall right by the bed was littered with holes. My fist ached with pain, blood pouring from my knuckles getting onto the wall, splinters digging deep by the bone.

     Calla. Goddess, I loved that name. But now I ruined it. All of those thoughts I had dreamt of over the past few weeks were all shot out the door. There was no way in hell she'd ever so much as look at me again without shaking in fear. I was just reciprocating what her old pack did, it seemed. I can't do a thing without her trembling an cowering because I'm doing something wrong. She probably hates me and is too obedient to run.

     I threw the blanket off of me, suddenly burning up like I was on fire. Sweat started to bead on my forehead and the base of my neck, my hair flopping onto my forehead and sticking there, in dire need of a cut. I stood up, my body aching to the point where met legs buckled. I gripped the bed post, my left wrist protesting immensely. I stood up again, a frustrated growl escaping me out of anguish. The strangled sound bounced off the walls and came back to me, ringing in my ears in a cacophony of pain.

     I stumbled backwards, flinging out my hand and smacking so tray of supplies onto the floor. The cart it was on rolled in front of me, and I screamed at it before kicking it out of the way. I gripped my head in my hands, my sweaty hair sticking to my fingers. It felt like my chest was on fire, my heart an endless supply of wood to be charred.

     I fell to my knees, a grunt escaping me from the impact of my knees. I bent to the floor, pressing my head to the floor in an attempt to cool down and relieve the pressure and the ringing bouncing around in my head. It was endless. I felt dizzy and sick, like my heart was a big ball of fire. Tears leaked from my eyes and I sobbed, my shoulders shaking in agony.

     But I knew I wasn't the one who needed to cry. I was the cause of this. This was my fault. I dragged myself back to my feet, my lips falling into a hard line, the sweat and tears mixing and soaking my body. I grabbed the beeping computer signalling my heart rate from a band on my wrist and slammed it to the ground, breaking it. The glass shattered and my bare feet took the brunt of it, glass embedding into my flesh.

     "This is your fault." I told myself, my voice echoing in my head.

     My hands grasped onto a pair of scissors, my sweaty hands rushing to hold them properly. However they slipped from my fingers and fell, the blade dragging down my leg as it went. I screamed in pain, my leg torn wide open. Dark red blood poured out from the wound, but I knew it was just karma. "This is your fault!!" I screamed, my knees buckling once more.

     I heard the crunch of glass as my back fell into the pile of shards, arching painfully from the fresh cuts. I groaned in pain, my back stinging like my feet. I rolled to my side to alleviate some pain, but ended up going back again. "You deserve this." I spat through ragged breaths. I caused her pain, now I have to pay the price for my actions.