Save You Tonight

Chapter 1~

I felt a tear stream down my face. He abused me, again. I lived with my 26 year old brother, Dylan. He used to be such a great guy, full of happiness. Now he was a drunk who abused me.

I am Avery Knight. I live alone with my brother. My parents died when I was 16 and he has been abusing me since I was 17, so about one year now. I have lived with it, I mean I know I shouldn't but I feel that if I tell anybody he will kill me. He kept a gun in the house. I knew I couldn't leave without telling him where I was going and I couldn't invite friends over. I never got to hang out with my friends unless I was at school. You get the idea. I snuck downstairs making sure he didn't hear the floorboards creaking. I wanted to escape from this house for a little bit, but if he found out I was gone he would hurt me, surely. So I will just go sit on the porch for a little bit. He wasn't down stairs. I quickly but quietly grabbed the doorknob. "Where the hell are you going?" Dylan asked slowly walking toward me. "Dylan I was just going to sit on the porch." I stuttered. "Aw, my little sister is scared." Dylan said pulling me in for a hug. He squeezed my small body really tightly. Enough to crack my bones. "Dylan, stop." I cried. "I know what you were trying to do." Dylan said releasing his grip on me. "You were going to leave weren't you?" Dylan grabbed my wrist. "No. I swear." I struggled to pull my wrist from his hand. "Look at you. You're a terrible lier Avery." Dylan slurred. He had a grin on his face. "Dylan! I am not lieing!" I screamed at him. I felt a hand go across my cheek. "Stop screaming at me and tell me the truth bitch." Dylan yelled. "That is the truth! I just wanted to sit on the porch for a little while."

I felt his hand go across my face again. My cheek stung. I knew it was probably red or had a hand mark on it. "You're a terrible lier." Dylan said throwing me on the ground. "Why can't you just tell me the truth?" Dylan asked with another grin on his face. "I did tell the truth. Now get away from me." I screamed at him. Dylan kicked me in the stomach. I grabbed where he had kicked me, nearly throwing up. "That's what you deserve bitch." Dylan smiled, spitting on me. He strolled away acting like what he just did to me was normal and it wasn't terrible.

I saw him creep up the stairs leaving me lying on the ground gagging. My life was seriously terrible. I think the death of my parents really changed him. He was doing drugs and drinking alcohol most of the time. I hated living here, I hated being stuck in this awful house with this awful person. I wish my parents were still here. I wish everything would just change, be normal again, but I don't think it will.

Dylan treats me like a dog. I can't even tell my best friend Mandy about any of this. She asks where I get so many bruises but I just tell her I am a klutz. She tries to tell me to roll my sleeves up in art class but I can't because I don't want teachers seeing the scars. I managed to stand up slowly walked over to the kitchen. I grabbed a small knife out of the drawer. I sat down and pushed my sleeves up, revealing all of the small "X's" I have carved into my arms. I slowly cut my skin open, giving myself more X's, tears running down my cheeks. I don't know why I do this to myself, it isn't going to help anything, but I do it anyway. I never have done it before, but ever since the abuse started, I have cut myself.

I stood up pushing my sleeves back down. The pain in my stomach gave me chills. It hurt bad enough for me to go to the hospital. I needed to get my old life back but I couldn't. I walked up to my room slowly still holding my stomach. I opened the door and sat down on my bed. I looked over at my bed stand. I saw a picture frame that was face down. I picked it up, knowing exactly what it was. I felt tears rushing to my eyes. It was a picture of Dylan, My mom, My dad and I. We were all smiling and we were at a water park. Tears were slowly sliding down my cheeks. I grabbed my cell phone. I dialed Mandy's number, it started to ring and I hung up. I know I couldn't tell her anything. My phone started vibrating indicating that Mandy was trying to call me back. I didn't answer. I couldn't I was crying to hard to talk to Mandy. I have taught myself to keep my feeling inside so well that I have a harder time expressing them then I do keeping them in.

I knew my life was screwed up and I couldn't do anything about it. I mean I could try to fix it, but if I did it would cause more problems. I knew it would. I just coudn't live like this though. I picked up the picture again. I saw a tear splash on the glass. I took the frame and threw it at my wall. Glass shattered everywhere. I curled up into a little ball and cried. I cried because of my life, the abuse, I cried because I missed my parents, but mostly I cried because I didn't do anything about this sooner, I knew I couldn't do anything that would really help at this moment. I just didn't feel like telling anyone because I had spent all that time teaching myself how to keep my feelings inside and hide behind a smile. I couldn't let my feelings go now or I will be hurt severly. I can't. I can't. I said it over and over in my head, tears streaming down my face. My life was one of those sad movies that people went to see to realize how good there life was, but I don't have that. My life is terrible. I hate my life. I sobbed myself to sleep that night, I knew crying wasn't going to help anything. I just did it because it was the only time I could. I had school tomorrow. School was a little bit better than home but not very much, because I had to act happy and I couldn't cry or show my feelings to anyone. I hated school and I hated home. I felt suicidal and depressed all because of my stupid brother who wanted to abuse me every chance he gets. I hated my life and I hated myself. I was so ugly. Nobody loves me. I bet even Mandy secretly hates me. I feel that if I kill myself now nobody will miss me. Nobody will care. It sucks because people don't realize how much people matter to them until there are dead.

I got on my computer and logged onto facebook. I had requests on Farmville and Pioneer Trail all of these idiotic games only people with no lives play. I quickly logged off of facebook. I hated having no social life. I wanted to invite Mandy over so bad and tell her all about the abuse and cutting. I can't though, because like I said, Dylan would kill me. Literally. I fell asleep crying. Hoping to not wake up in the morning even though I know I would. I just want to die.