Cult

Memory

I wobbled a bit, and he quickly put his hands on my hips, and he swerved the board with his feet and we got closer to the water's edge.

"Oh my God!" I screamed. Al was jumping up and down.

"I've never done this with a girl!" he shouted, making my stomach twist and turn.

Of course he has, Al suddenly stopped dancing and looked at me stupidly, He just wants to make you feel special!

We finally reached the sand and he took his hands from my hips. I jumped off the board and beamed at him. That was awesome.

"You like?" he said, but suddenly I was over come with exhaustion.

"Yeah!" I yawned.

"Do you want some food?" he asked.

My stomach grumbled as an answer.

We dried and changed back into clothes and made our way back up the beach with the surf boards under our arms. I felt a bit dizzy, but I always did after a day in the sun.

Finally we got back to the car, and he put the surf boards in the back and looked at me with a smile. I smiled back. I felt much more comfortable around him now, for some reason.

My stomach grumbled again, making me blush.

"I've really enjoyed today, Alex," his smile broadened.

"Me too," I chuckled.

He hesitated. 

Silence dragged on for what seemed like a lifetime. I was so tired, but I couldn't stop looking at him.

He moved closer. His breathing quickened, and mine followed. Why?

"I like you, Alex," he whispered.

I was dazed at his words that I didn't reply. I looked up into his eyes and he stared back down to mine.

They're so blue.

His hand brushed my arm and made its way up to my shoulder. He moved across and up my neck and caress my face. He moved closer again.

Oh, no. I knew what was happening here.

My heart raced. He moved ever so slowly towards me, and I started to respond. Finally.

I moved my arms so they made their way around his neck.

He softly pecked my jaw, and my stomach did a somersault. 

But fatigue and hunger took over, because I fainted, plummeting into the darkness, whacking my head on the side of his jeep and knocking myself out for sixteen hours, leading him to ask me to move in with him, me saying yes, and now me standing here. And all I could think was... Thank God.

You do realise he knew something was going to happen all along, because he did make a move at you and you responded. He knew that if he did it again that you'd let him again, but you hopefully wouldn't faint, Al perks up. 

And I know it's true. I would make a move. It was silly that he hadn't already. I'd been here for three weeks.

But he must have been waiting for me to remember. How did he know that I would? It makes everything come into perspective. That's why he was so upset. I couldn't remember what he'd tried to do.

It seemed he'd plucked up the courage to tell me he liked me - not loved - and he was going to kiss me. He was going to kiss me and I fainted. He was annoyed that I couldn't remember, and he didn't want to tell me... Why?

It makes things awfully romantic, and I really don't want it like that. After all, he'll never love any one. He told me so several times. 

He didn't want to put me on the spot, and see my face, maybe - though incredibly - disbelieving that he'd tried to kiss me. He wants me to remember, and then choose whether I did want to do anything. And oh my god I do. I really do. He's gorgeous.

He's waiting for me right now, out there, unaware that I've just remembered absolutely everything and debating how to confront him. How should I do it?

Go out there and just kiss him! Al pleads.

But I can't do that.

I sit down in the shower that's still running water over my body. I could ask him what happened when we got back up to the car, but put it in a way that makes it seem that I'm asking a question I know the answer to. Would that work?

I could walk into the living room and say 'I know,'. Would that be too... movie-like?

I turn the shower off and grab a towel. I towel dry my hair until it's just damp and put on my pyjamas - which consists of an over-grown top and a pair of shorts. I sit on the closed toilet seat.

Shit.

I breathe heavily. I have to do this. I'll feel better if I do this. But something inside me tells me I can't do this. Why, I don't know.

DO IT! Al shrieks, forcing me out the door. He looks up when I make my way into the living room, unaware that my legs are noodles and my heart is pounding out of my chest. I lost my stomach somewhere along the way.

"What's wrong?" he frowns.

My voice is lost somewhere. "Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper. He might not even hear it, it's so quiet.

But he does. His face changes as realisation dawns on there.

"Whe-" he starts to stay, but I follow my instinct and I follow Al, and I sit down on the sofa next to him and I just kiss him.

His lips are soft and gentle against mine. His hands slide up my back, my hands caress his face. I'm straddled over his lap, lost in the moment. Our tongues connect and they fight with each other, though both are winning. He moans quietly, and I follow suit. His lips are getting more moist.

I move my hands to his soft brown hair, tugging it gently. His bracelets roll on the bare skin of my back. It's everything I'd imagined, because believe me, I've imagined it.

As he pulls away, I slowly bite down on his lip, a specialty of mine, and he looks into my eyes with an emotion I cannot pin point.

Lust? Happiness?

Desire.

I let go of his lip.

"How?" he breathes.

"I just remembered," I say back, and he smiles his biggest smile. "Don't smile like that. It was embarrassing,"

He smirks, and takes one of his hands from my back and rubs his forefinger across my right temple. I narrow my eyes, and he just looks at me.

Does he have the desire, or do I?

It must be both, because I lean in for another kiss, and there's no way in hell that he refuses it.