You know how breathing works right?
You take a breathe in and then you release a breathe out and then you repeat it till you die
Because when you stop you die
You know what's funny about it?
It is not even a conscious process, it happens on its own that two step repititive thing just happens on itself.
See how easy that is, you don't even have to put in effort to keep the track of the no. Of breathe ins or breathe out or if you're able to maintain the rhythm, right?
Did you put 2 ins and only one out?
You can't mess up with that
Not if you're healthy
But you know how it feels to have an asthma attack?
So incapable of doing the one thing that comes naturally and effortlessly
So hopeless
Even though it comes naturally but when you're an asthmatic the normal rhythm doesn't help you. You have to put in efforts to keep up with the demand of your body and if you're still at the exposure of the allergen your efforts will only worsen the condition
And yeah the word efforts does seems optimistic like yeah I'll put it hard work and effort and I'll be successful
Well in asthma it doesn't really work that way
With every minute your effortfull conscious breathing becomes more and more hard and forceful and your whole chest and half your back hurts from the pain from the efforts your muscles have to put in to keep you alive, and then there is that moment when your breathing is so shallow, so rapid that you forget the track of breathe whatever lets you fill the lungs you do. You may take 2 ins and only one out whatever it takes. You feel completely useless that even you think
I'm too tired to put in efforts anymore
Just too tired to breathe, doesn't it looks like a laughable statement, it is if you could ever heard it from a lazy person like me
But at that moment that statement
"Too tired to breathe"
Was me giving up on myself and my lungs, ready to die
Cause I couldn't bear it anymore
It was more hurtful than I could sustain
You know how it feels to give up on yourself? on your own life? When you haven't even accomplished anything and all your dreams, goals and desires just let go off because not one of them seems important anymore.
The stage in your life when living a minute more seems more hellish than not being able to ever achieve anything
It doesn't even leaves time to regret
You can't even be sad upon what you shouldn't have done and what you couldn't
That simple task of breathing that comes naturally I wasn't able to perform it
Seems funny doesn't it?
It isn't
