Short Stories

To Build A Fire (Part 3)

But it was all he could do: hold its body encircled in his arms andsit there. He realized that he could not kill the dog. There was no wayto do it. With his frozen hands he could neither draw nor hold his knife. Nor could he grasp the dog around the throat. He freed it and itdashed wildly away, still barking. It stopped 40 feet away and observedhim curiously, with ears sharply bent forward.The man looked down at his hands to locate them and foundthem hanging on the ends of his arms. He thought it curious that it wasnecessary to use his eyes to discover where his hands were. He beganwaving his arms, beating the mittened hands against his sides. He didthis for five minutes. His heart produced enough blood to stop his shaking.But no feeling was created in his hands.A certain fear of death came upon him. He realized that it wasno longer a mere problem of freezing his fingers and toes, or of losinghis hands and feet. Now it was a problem of life and death with the circumstancesagainst him. The fear made him lose control of himself andhe turned and ran along the creek bed on the old trail. The dog joinedhim and followed closely behind. The man ran blindly in fear such ashe had never known in his life. Slowly, as he struggled through thesnow, he began to see things again—the banks of the creek, the baretrees, and the sky.The running made him feel better. He did not shake any more.Maybe, if he continued to run, his feet would stop freezing. Maybe if heran far enough, he would find the camp and the boys. Without doubt,he would lose some fingers and toes and some of his face. But the boyswould take care of him and save the rest of him when he got there.And at the same time, there was another thought in his mind that saidhe would never get to the camp and the boys. It told him that it wastoo many miles away, that the freezing had too great a start and thathe would soon be dead. He pushed this thought to the back of his mindand refused to consider it. Sometimes it came forward and demandedto be heard. But he pushed it away and tried to think of other things.It seemed strange to him that he could run on feet so frozen thathe could not feel them when they struck the earth and took the weightof his body. He seemed to be flying along above the surface and to haveno connection with the earth.His idea of running until he arrived at the camp and the boys presented one problem: he lacked the endurance. Several times he caughthimself as he was falling. Finally, he dropped to the ground, unable tostop his fall. When he tried to rise, he failed. He must sit and rest, hedecided. Next time he would merely walk and keep going.As he sat and regained his breath, he noted that he was feelingwarm and comfortable. He was not shaking, and it even seemed that awarm glow had come to his body. And yet, when he touched his noseor face, there was no feeling. Running would not bring life to them. Norwould it help his hands and feet. Then the thought came to him thatthe frozen portions of his body must be increasing. He tried to keep thisthought out of his mind and to forget it. He knew that such thoughtscaused a feeling of fright in him and he was afraid of such feelings. Butthe thought returned and continued, until he could picture his bodytotally frozen. This was too much, and again he ran wildly along thetrail. Once he slowed to a walk, but the thought that the freezing ofhis body was increasing made him run again.And all the time the dog ran with him, at his heels. When he fella second time, the dog curled its tail over its feet and sat in front ofhim, facing him, curiously eager. The warmth and security of the animalangered him. He cursed it until it flattened its ears. This time theshaking because of the cold began more quickly. He was losing his battlewith the frost. It was moving into his body from all sides. Thisthought drove him forward. But he ran no more than 100 feet, whenhe fell head first.It was his last moment of fear. When he had recovered his breathand his control, he sat and thought about meeting death with dignity.However, the idea did not come to him in exactly this manner. His ideawas that he had been acting like a fool. He had been running aroundlike a chicken with its head cut off. He was certain to freeze in his presentcircumstances, and he should accept it calmly. With this newfoundpeace of mind came the first sleepiness. A good idea, he thought, tosleep his way to death. Freezing was not as bad as people thought. Therewere many worse ways to die.He pictured the boys finding his body the next day. Suddenly he