Pretend you don't see her

Chapter 1

It was 11:11pm and I was blankly staring at the sky. It was clear there were no stars at all. I could feel the wind hitting my face. For awhile to everything around me was numb and all I could ever think about was her. She was with me a little while ago wasn't she?
I asked myself. I blinked a couple of times and I felt someone tapping on my shoulder. I turned around to see her. She was smiling at me and I smiled back. I saw that she had something in her eyes. Something incomplete. We blanky stared at eachothers for awhile. The silence was filling up the place slowly. I could hear her breath heavily as I leaned on her.
The wind was now blowing her hair. I started nibbling on her earlobe. She moved her head a bit. I whispered her name and she slightly moaned my name. The night was young and so were we. I wanted her to stay but I knew it was her time to go. She held me close to her and so did I. She asked me to kiss her but even before I could I heard this beep sound.
I looked around and realised that she was sleeping in the hospital room. As I turned around I saw the doctors rushing in, her mom breaking down,her father trying hard to hold back his tears and stand straight and strong but his eyes told a different story.
A story of a father and his daughter. He was blankly looking at what was happening. And there he was her brother. He stood there at the far corner staring at the ceiling.
I thought of his pain, all those years they had spent together all those silly fights. Him loving her taking care of her protecting her. She was his princess. I still remember how she told me that he was so bothered that his sister was dating me.
My eyes found their way to her. I saw her laying there in pain. Tubes injected into her body. Those injections might have hurt her alot. I looked at her she was once that girl who used to be so happy and wild and free and now she was there laying in this hospital bed for what like 3 months now.
Dying is a slow process I thought to myself. How would she be feeling right now? I asked myself.
I thought of what was going on her mind. Memories from 21 years flooding back. She'd first think of her mom and dad and how much they loved her how much they were proud of their little daughter.
And then she'd think about her brother and how much he used to irritate her but no matter what she was his little princess and he was her superhero. She'd think about all those happy days and memories she had made. She'd finally see me there in one corner foolishly smiling at the love of my life.
I couldn't think of anything anymore. Even dad broke down now. All of us heard the doctor say sorry. I knew this was happening. I knew she had to go. I had to leave that place now. I couldn't stay there any longer. I slowly walked down the hallway of the hospital.
There were families praying and pleading in front of different statues of god. Some were happy and some were in the verge of breaking down. I walked a bit faster now as I didn't want to breath in the air of the hospital anymore. It made me feel sick and weak. I ran through the corridors and finally made my way to the gate.
By the time I reached the road I was gasping for air. I stood there and took a deep breath. I called out for a cab and headed home.
As I got home I saw mom and dad standing outside waitng for me. Mom was crying and dad trying to comfort her. Dad looked at me staright into the eyes and he could see I was breaking down it was like the world was set apart. For the first time in 16 years I ran into him and cried on his arms. He rubbed my back and told me that things would be fine.
I walked past him after that and went straight to my room shut the door and sat on my bed. My knees pulled up to my chest. I held my face on my palms and cried out aloud.
She was gone.
She was gone.
She left us all of us. She'd be turned into ashes soon. She's dead now. She won't be there anymore. She won't be there to scream at me for staying up late for work. She won't be there with that cup of coffee.
She was gone now.
I cried and cried and didn't realise that I had fallen asleep and when I woke up it was already the next day. The sun rays trying to peek inside my room through the curtains. The sound of birds chirping all of this sounded so melodious to me but now they annoyed me. I got up from my bed not wanting to but I still made my mind and got up and went to the hospital washroom turned the shower and stood there staring at floor.
There was nothing left anymore.
She'd already be ashes now.
I didn't want to attend the funeral and nor did I want to see any of her family members. I got out of the washroom drenched and got myself changed. I made up my mind and wanted to go back to office.
Mom was still crying and I asked her to stop crying as everyone has to go someday.
Ever since yesterday life seems different. Waking up without her voice. Being here without her touch. She always used to tell me that I'd miss her once she was gone and yes I did. I really missed her.

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