Fall To Pieces-Sequal to Break My Fall

Chapter 18

"Fall To Pieces" Chapter 18

Justin’s P.O.V

I stood at the edge of the cemetery, behind of the crowds of mourners and reporters who had showed up to watch Demi’s casket being lowered into the ground. Derek stood stiffly by my side.

Using one hand to rock Hope’s buggy, I placed the other on his shoulder.

This was harder for him than me. I knew that, and I empathized with him no end. It was too hard for him to stand at her grave and watch Demi’s burial, while Mike stood side by side with the family he’d once been a member of.

I comforted myself in the knowledge that whilst nine days had passed since the attack, and the doctors hadn’t yet found a kidney donor, the love of my life wasn’t being placed in the ground. She was still fighting, and she was still alive. We stood there silently, until the priest excused himself and the crowd dwindled.

“You ready to go, man?” I asked quietly, tucking Hope’s blanket around her sleeping body.

Even though it was early June, the air was cold in the cemetery. My heart swelled in my chest at the sight of Hope, and I stroked her cheek as I silently thanked Linda for helping me come to my senses. I was ashamed of myself for denying my daughter.

The fear of living without Selena, the depression…I hadn’t wanted to see Hope because I knew that when I did, I would have to carry on. Those first few days after Selena’s surgery I had-in my delirious state of grief-decided that if Selena didn’t make it, then I didn’t want to…

I had selfishly blocked Hope out of my life in a bid to ease my conscience, knowing that once I saw my daughter, I would have to live, regardless of what happened…

It had been an unforgivable thing to think, and to be honest, at the time I hadn’t been thinking. I hadn’t considered Hope’s future, or thought about what Selena would want. I’d been too caught up in my guilt and grief to think straight.

I was now though, and I wasn’t going to let my family down again. Derek wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and nodded. I clasped the handles of Hope’s buggy, and walked towards the exit.

“Justin, wait,” a voice shouted from behind us. “I need to talk to you.”

I cringed. If I had to tell one more reported ‘no comment,’ I was going to lose my shit. I swung around, and my heart hammered in my chest.

Not here…

Mora Lovato stood five feet away from me, red faced, and panting.

“Mrs. Lovato,” I acknowledged quietly. “I’m so sorry about Demitri.”

I didn’t know what else to say to the woman. In truth, there was nothing else I could say. Nothing could bring Demi back. No one could rewind to that night and press pause.

Mora kept moving towards me and I braced myself for the slap I was sure to get. I could not have predicted what happened next.

“Justin,” Mora sobbed, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “I’m sorry, I’m so terribly sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around Demi’s mom and held her, unsure of what the hell to do. I glanced over at a baffled looking Derek, then down at Mora’s grief stricken face. Why was she sorry? Why was she apologizing to me? This was all happening in reverse.

“I’m the one who’s sorry…”

I started to say but she didn’t give me a chance.

“I’ve been trying to contact you.” Her voice quavered as she slipped her hand into the pocket of her skirt. “I hope it’s not too late.”