New Teams, Old Problems

Chapter 9: Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtle

When Kate and her little bamf arrived at Clint's apartment, Clint and Wade were already clearly ready to go and were hanging out in the living room waiting for her.

"Sorry — had to get things settled with the babysitters," she told them both. "What've you got for us, Wade?"

"Babysitters? Don't you just need one? Or did I miss something a few chapters back?" Wade asked with his head tipped to one side.

Kate ignored that last question, well aware that she couldn't keep up with Wade's nonsense. "Well, you know — in case Kurt is busy. Jubes and Noh are on standby."

"Pretty sure that would be up to him to find a sitter then, right?" Wade asked.

"I'm just... you know. I just worry."

"Control freak?" Clint offered.

She shot a glare at him. "No. I just haven't left her alone for more than a day-long mission before."

"Control freak," Wade whispered in agreement.

"You two are so off on the wrong foot already. Remember who invited you to this shindig," Kate said with her hands on her hips.

"I invited myself," Wade defended, mimicking her body position. "Because these are my bad guys."

"And so did I. For some reason," Clint agreed. "Because I'm an idiot."

"I didn't realize you'd peed on the bad guys to stake your claim, Deadpool," Kate said.

"Oh no, mamacita, they peed on me. It's my turn to pee on them." Wade's voice was low and soothing as he said it.

"Well, okay," Kate said, raising an eyebrow at him before she shrugged. "So ... what've you got? That Canada trip of yours had to be good for something."

"Oh, you know it," Wade said, perking up a bit from the slightly serious tone he'd had moments before. "I have medical records, acquisitions, false releases — they were all signed by the same two people for over eight hundred missing people," he whispered out. "And a little bit of a who's who of evil snow-dusted Canadian bad guys." He looked between the two of them for a moment. "For starters."

Kate and Clint glanced at each other and both had the same surprised, raised eyebrow expression.

"It's possible that I may have been collecting what I could find on these guys a little bit before this nifty team up started," Wade said before he drew in a deep breath and held it for a second. "Anyhoo .... How 'bout we get moving?"

"They're your bad guys, apparently," Kate said, gesturing for him to lead the way.

"That's what I said, silly," Wade said with a little laugh. "You know, I didn't realize that it was a requirement to be deaf to be a Hawkeye."

"And you want to be a Hawkeye. I can help," Clint said almost under his breath.

"Well you can sure try, spandex," Wade said with an obvious grin. "But it won't stick. Nope — not after what these baddies did."

Kate looked honestly surprised. "Wait, wait. These guys did..."

"Well — I thought that was why you wanted me to join you," Wade said. "Didn't you ever hear my origin story?"

"I just gave her the basic overview," Clint told him as they headed down the stairs for his car.

"And left out all the creamy filling. Obviously," Wade said. "Like — all of it." He took a few steps to match pace with Kate before he threw his arm over her shoulder. "It's a tragic, tragic tale, really. I was a young, well ... not too young ... but that's not the point. I was a top-notch special forces soldier that came down with about eight kinds of aggressive cancer — awful stuff. So nasty no one would touch it. But then I found this neat little Canadian program that promised all kinds of things — said they could take your broken body and turn you into a superhero."