Evalie, a strong willed, fiery blond, has been wandering from town to town for 3 days now just searching for a safe place to stay, and she has now ended up here on a barren street in the golden light of morning only obscured slightly by the sprinkling snow, with, for once, not a zombie in sight. Meanwhile, Erik, a kind, chivalrous gentleman who is tired of resetting the traps left around his home every 3 hours, has decided to gather some tools from his smithy to make it through this new world as he sets out for a better ending to it for himself. This is the story of how these two fates became entwined.
Evalie
(Enters stage left and walks to the phone booth on stage right.) Stupid Zombies. I’ve been driven from home, fired for getting into fights when a customer grabs my buttocks, and I’ve been lied to and cheated by many men, as well as dumped by my fiancé when another man kissed me in front of him and told him we were dating, but nothing comes close to the zombie apocalypse. Not only do I not have a weapon, but I’m freezing and I can’t find a place to change my clothes that isn’t locked up or already infested with zombies. I mean, I’m not going to change in the middle of the street and be caught in a web with my pants down, zombies or not! Oh cool, a phone booth! (Runs to the booth, but pauses to sigh) Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. Zombies are too stupid to know how to open doors. (Closes door to begin changing.)
Erik
(Enters by exiting his shop center stage, opens an umbrella in front of him against the strong wind, then walks to the phone booth and opens the door. Looking up, expression changes to shock.)
Evalie
(Looks back over her shoulder. Begins to speak with a stern voice then pulls the sweater back over her head and turns around.) What the hell?! Are you blind?! (Pushes past Erik and walks out onto the street, then turns on him very aggressively.)
Erik
(Stuttering very fast and not meeting her eyes.) I-I’m sorry! I… t-the snow… m-my u-umb-brella… I d-didn’t s-see.... I thought this place was…!
Evalie
(Sternly.) What?! You thought this place was what? (Puts hands on her hips.)
Erik
(Matter-of-factly, but still not meeting her eyes.) Vacant… (Quietly.) everybody’s dead.
Evalie
Well, maybe you should watch where you’re going! What if I was infected? You could have been killed.
Erik
(Laughs.) That’s ridiculous, (looks at her) the door was closed. Everyone knows zombies can’t open doors! (Turns serious again and quickly looks away.)
Evalie
That’s not the point!
Erik
(In shame.) You’re right, I should have been more cautious.
Evalie
(Rolls her eyes and turns away. She pulls a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, pulls one out and sticks it in her mouth as she puts the pack back and then lights it. Crosses arms and takes a drag and blows it out in a long audible exhale.)
Erik
(Watches her for a moment. After the puff dissipates, solemnly goes into the phone booth, picks up the phone, dials, and waits.) Hey, Marissa, It’s me, Erik, again. (Evalie turns to the booth and starts listening with curiosity.) I know you’re probably not in right now and you most likely won’t get this, but I hope that wherever you are, you do. (Evalie drops her smoking arm as she starts realizing his tone.) I’m leaving town today to find somewhere safe and easily defendable. I wish you were here and I could see you one last time (Cigarette falls from hand), but I know you’ll be with me… maybe. Say “hi” to Mom, Dad, and Grandma for me. I hope you’re okay and happy. I love you, and I’ll see you soon, bye. (Slowly hangs up with head down and gets out of the booth then looks up to meet Evalie’s gaze.)
Evalie
(Stepping closer.) Listen, it’s a crazy world out there. Everything’s different and people need to stick together in order to survive out there. Look, you seem like a kind of tough guy. Handsome, can hold his own, but you won’t survive out there alone for long. No one will, not even the toughest bone in the bunch; there’s just too many teeth out for your insides, eventually their container will break and they will spill out on the floor, gruesome as it is. I’ve seen too many people lose to the hands of fate because they couldn’t work with others, even before the apocalypse. It’s how my family lost me after things got too heavy for me to handle, and how I lost my future husband when an outside influence finally put enough pressure to tip the ship over after years of wear and tear from questions, distrust, and excommunication. So, I propose we become partners, pair up and set out to find a safe place to wait out this giant heaping mess for the next three weeks until these things die off from starvation or eat each other off into extinction in an act commonly known as cannibalism.
Erik
(Takes a deep breath and scans over his surroundings slowly, then looks at the ground and looks up to meet her eyes.) Okay. I have some swords, weapons and other assorted fighting tools in my bag from my shop that we can use.
Evalie
Honey, all I need is a flame thrower and a chainsaw to wipe out this revolting, ungodly race. Unfortunately, my chain saw broke going through someone’s thick skull, and, sadly, I’ve never owned a flamethrower.
Erik
I’ve got both at my house.
Evalie
Yay!
Erik
We’ll stop by there on the way and get some other supplies. You can shower there and get some clothes as well. I have a crowbar, lock picks, an axe, and bolt cutters already in my bag for breaking and entering (Smiles brightly). However, you’ll probably want to come into my shop and look at my wares in case you want something that I didn’t grab. I’ll find an extra bag for you.
Evalie
Great, now can I please put some other clothes on?
Erik
(Smiling deviously) Sure, I have a bathroom, but you would be better off with the phone booth. (Turns and walks back into the shop.)
Evalie
(While whirling around and storming back to the phone booth.) Urgh!!! Gosh dang it, stupid zombies!! (Slams the door.)
