Stay

falling

She's here in bed with a man and not just any man, it's Peter Stone, of all people. He's sleeping soundly next to her and she just watches him for a few more moments. It's nearing six in the morning and she knows there's only a limited amount of time they have left with each other until she's on her way back home. She's a gotten a total of maybe 3 hours of sleep tonight, and there's a familiar ache between her legs. He'd been insatiable the entire night, waking her with kisses to her shoulder or the sweet stroke of his hand along her back.

"D-don't," Peter mumbles in his sleep and shifts in bed. She doesn't think anything of it and almost laughs, not knowing he even spoke in his sleep. "Pamela..." his chest rose and fell as he began breathing heavily, his body became dampened with sweat. She realized he was having a nightmare, a bad dream, whatever you want to call it he was having one and she felt her heart break right in two. It was one thing to hear about what had happened to his sister, but to bear witness to such a tragedy was completely different.

"Peter," she says firmly but softly as she places her hand on his shoulder nudging him to wake up. "Peter!" She yells almost and shakes his more urgently as he repeats his sisters name over and over. His eyes snap open and he sits up covered in sweat as he tries to catch his breath. Olivia turns her body towards him and watches as he comes to and can tell he's almost embarrassed as he shys away from looking at her.

"Hey," she says softly and turns his face gently towards her as she take a hold of his chin. "Everything is okay. I'm here for you," she pecks the corner of his mouth and he softens. He pulls her close and envelopes her in his arms. Her head lays on his chest and his chin rests on the top of her head. She splays her hand across his bare chest and can feel the rapid rate his heart is beating at. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine, I just have a few bad dreams every now and then ever since..." he stops himself as he tries to keep his tears at bay. It's not like she hadn't seen him cry before, but the truth was he just tired of doing it. Olivia had been a nice distraction from the terrible waves of grief that came every now and then. Yet these nightmares of seeing his sister being gunned down right in front of his very own eyes kept haunting him.

"But this is the first time in a long time that I haven't been alone," he wraps his arms just a little bit tighter around her. "Just like that night you stayed with me in my office after it had all happened."

"I don't want you to ever feel like you have to pretend everything is okay," she meant every word of it. "I used to have them too," she states and isn't sure if she's quite ready to open up anymore than that. "I've seen a lot of shit on this job," she sums up and laughs nervously.

"I can only imagine," he says quietly.

"Tell me one of your favorite memories of Pam," her voice is soft and coaxing as she tries to get him to open up to her. She's dealt with grief alone and she knows the consequences of keeping it all bottled up.

"Oh um," he's caught off guard with her question. "Maybe the summer of '93. We spent almost the entire break at our lake house up in Michigan. She was so vibrant and sober, and so much like the Pam that I knew growing up," Olivia kissed his tear that escaped down his cheek. "I just wish I could've done more for her," his voice cracks.

"Peter, look at me," she sits up and holds his head between her hands. "You did everything you could for her. You tried your absolute best to give her the finest care after losing your father. It isn't your fault what happened to her," she says sternly. He stares at her with tears in his eyes finding any bit of courage he had to believe the words she had been saying.

He moves his own hands to cup her cheeks in his hands and pulls her lips to his, aching to touch her and bring him back to solid ground. His hand moves to grip her thigh and pulled her into his lap. Her hands wrap around his neck and her fingers thread into his cropped hair as she admits to herself that she needs him too.