➴mirage / / taelice

eighteen; protect

LISA
September 22, 2017 - 4:06 AM

Almost a week has already gone by since the scandal was out. I kept myself strong and firm and had the determination of healing myself from all the shit I've been through even if the topic's still a trend. But now, I don't know what to feel anymore.

I already spent hours staring at the ceiling as the heartbreaking memory kept on replaying. It felt like everything's crashing down; Chaeyoung still isn't talking to me, the scandal is spreading webpage to webpage, and most of all, Taehyung just— never mind.

I thought I was healing but it turned out the opposite way around. I was continually breaking, turning into completely another Lisa.

FLASHBACK

"Do you like me?"

"Of course I do!"

"As a what? Like just a fan?"

"Y-yes."

END OF FLASHBACK

I closed my eyes, letting a tear escape from my eye. I had nothing else going on my mind. I cared less about how I'm going to spend this day and just kept overthinking.

'You can do this Lisa!' The quarter of me tried to gather all my courage back again. "I can't," I whispered to myself and closed my eyes in dismay.

"Gold digger!"

"You slut!"

"Die, bitch."

"ARRGHHH!!" I shook my head in anger and frustration and screamed at the top of my lungs as tears just constantly flow on my cheeks.

Jisoo got woken up and the door suddenly slammed open.

"Lisa, what's wrong?" Jennie hastily sat beside me and hugged me as tight as she could. I still kept on sobbing like there's no tomorrow.

Jisoo sat beside me as she gently rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. Chaeyoung wasn't around since she left the dorm since yesterday, according to Jisoo, and went back to her home.

"I thought I could still keep myself strong," I started to open up, "but I just can't anymore!"

"What happened yesterday?" Jisoo asked, "You were gone for a bit."

"When you came back, you were so pale," Jennie added.

It took me a while to tell them everything that happened yesterday and all they could do was comfort me with words. Jisoo cracked up a few jokes but I still couldn't bring myself to smile even just a bit.

I feel so bad.

"I'm sorry I woke you both up," I apologized and wiped my cheeks that were soaked in tears. "You have remedial classes today."

"It's still later this afternoon anyway," Jisoo shrugged it off. "How about we eat breakfast outside?" she suggested.

Jennie's face beamed. "Oh my god, yes!" she exclaimed in excitement that I couldn't relate to. "Come on, Lisa!" she nudged me a bit, trying to cheer me up.