Across the Pond

Chapter 51

I only stay at Perrie and Zayn's long enough the next morning to eat a little something because Perrie insisted.  I play with Alaina while the food is being prepared and she definitely starts my day off right.  She is always so giggly and fun and I love her.  It has been great to watch her grow in the month and a half sh'es been in this world and I'm going to miss her so much when I have to leave this week.

"Tori, Alaina" Perrie calls from the kitchen, "Breakfast."  I scoop the smiling baby up from the floor and walk into the kitchen.  I find the table covered in all types of breakfast foods; pancakes, eggs, cereal, bagels, sausages, and fruit. 

"Guys, I said I wasn't hungry"  There is enough food here to feed an army. 

"Who said it was for you?" Zayn jokes and takes his seat at the head of the table.  Perrie and I take a seat on either side of him and we all begin filling our plates.

The food is amazing and I thank them endlessly for it and all their help yesterday and today.  Then I pass the baby to Perrie and go upstairs to collect my things.  When I return downstairs, Zayn and Perrie are both sitting on the floor in the family room playing with their daughter.  I stop on the stairs for a minute to watch them; it's so sweet.  But then I get that lump in my throat that signals I'm going to start crying again so I quickly run down the rest of the stairs and make my way to the door. 

"Thank you guys again for everything.  I owe you big time.  Perrie, I'll get your pyjamas back as soon as possible, but I'm leaving on Wednesday--but I'll figure something out."

"Oh, don't worry, you can keep them.  I never wore them much anyways."  I look down at the lavander silk pants and white tank top, then back at her. 

"Are you sure?  Because it's really not a big deal.  I'll bring 'em by tomorrow." I assure her and she shakes her head.

"I'm sure.  And where are you going Wednesday?"

"Home... To America.  My internship is up here and i Have to graduate." I tell her and her mouth falls open. 

"Oh my god, I totally forgot you're not from here.  You fit in so well!  Will you come by again before you go?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know.  But thank you guys for being such incredible friends" I'm tearing up again so I hug Perrie, tight.  She does the same to me and I make sure to keep my face concealed in her hair until I can pull myself together again. 

This is my first round of goodbyes and it's only going to get harder from here.  Next, I hug Zayn who is also holding Alaina.  "Stay safe.  Keep in touch." he tells me and I nod. 

"Bye, Alaina.  Love you, baby girl" I kiss her cheek and walk back to the door.  "Bye" I wave sadly and step out of the house.

"Wait!  You need a ride!" Perrie exclaims. 

"No, it's fine.  I'll catch a cab."  Before they can object, I am out the door and my sparkly back heels from last night are clicking down the steps.

I must really look like hell in silk pyjamas and sparkling heels, with no makeup on and my my hair tied on top of my head.  Thankfully, they live close to the main road so I only have to walk a block before I can catch a cab.

I wave one down and when i get in and tell him the address of the hotel, he looks me up and down but doesn't say anything, he just turns around to drive.  There was some extreme judgment in his look, but I don't even care anymore.

When I get to the hotel, paparazzi fill the spot by the entrance.  I freeze and contemplate telling the driver to just leave me on the side of the high way, but I put my big girl panties on, pay him, and get out of the cab.  It takes a second for the paps to notice me, but when they do, the camera start clicking uncontrollably and I just dip my head down and run inside.

As soon as I come through the sliding doors, Robby is at my side and takes me up to my room.  "What is going on?" he asks, worried. 

"I thought I was going to a wedding, but I actually went to get my heart ripped out and shredded into a million pieces; and on top of that, a guy friend of mine decided to kiss me, now I'm on the cover of every entertainment magazine in all of England."  My tone is highly sarcastic and I curse myself for being mean to him, but I really can't take it anymore. 

"I'm sorry, Robby.  I just really need some space."  He nods understandingly and backs away as I enter my room. 

"Tori?" Amanda calls and runs to the door.  She hugs me instantly and doesn't pay mind to my outfit-- at least not yet.  "I saw the segment on E! news and I thought for sure you'd come home last night.  But I guess you stayed with Harry?"  I get choked up again at the mention of his name. 

Damn, I gotta get my shit together.  This is pathetic.

I shake my head sadly, "No, I was with Zayn and Perrie.  Harry and I broke up."  I thought that was clear enough by the cover of every magazine by now, but just in case, I need to keep telling myself it's over. 

Her eyes bug out of her head.  "Because you kissed some guy?!" the disgust in her voice is evident.

"Woah there!  He kissed me!  And no, because I never meant anything to him and he doesn't really love me."

"Oh no" she says worriedly and bangs on the connecting door to Katie and Lexi's room.  The door flies open and the other girls join us and take a seat on the beds. 

"Okay, what happened?" Amanda crosses her legs on the bed and I drop my bag down on the desk and pull out the rolling chair.  I take a deep breath, then begin to explain what has happened in the last 24 hours.  I take periodic pauses to keep myself calm and not beak down crying again.

When I finally finish, all three girls' mouths are gaping open.  "Aww, Tori!" Amanda says sweetly and get sup to hug me.  "Why haven't you told us before?"

I shrug.  "I thought we would have made it through this... but we didn't."

"What an ass" Katie barks causing me to chuckle. 

"I'll get the ice cream!" Lexi chirps and jumps up to run to the freezer.  She returns a second later with a half-gallon tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and four spoons.  "Eat up" she tosses me the tub and I barely catch it. 

"You guys are ridiculous." I shake my head playfully.

"And you mean that in the best way possible" Lexi beams.  I don't exactly need their pity right now.  I already have felt sorry enough for myself.  I just need their understanding. 

I get up and crawl into bed, taking the ice cream with me and slide under the sheets.

"Do you need anything?"  Amanda strokes my hair.

"A new heart.  This one's broken."  The girls giggle at my statement and Katie turns on the TV. 

The first thing I see is, "Not even two weeks she's dating Harry Styles and she's already moved on--"

"Katie!"  Amanda and Lexi whine.

"Sorry!  Sorry, I didn't know it was there." she fumbles to change the channel.  "There, you can't go wrong with Spongebob" she smiles and I roll my eyes.

I spend the rest of the day just watching movies and eating my weight in ice cream.  Perrie and Danielle text me throughout the day to check on me.  Even though I insist she doesn't have to, Danielle comes to visit me.  I feel pretty pathetic having people visit me like I'm an invalid.  That's why when Danielle comes, I make her take us out to go shopping.

I buy a couple of new things just because I can and I can't help but think of what Harry's reaction would be if he saw me in them.  We go out to a nice dinner and Danielle treats us as a "going away" gift.  She is seriously the greatest. 

After we're done, she drops us back off at the hotel and the girls and I go upstairs.  I take extra long to get ready for bed because I am dreading what tonight's dreams/memories/nightmares are going to bring.