Not just a dream

The hellhounds took the boys by surprise. No one could have predicted this would happen, Sam and Cas carrying Dean's lifeless body into the bunker. Once they placed dean's shredded and mangled remains in his bed. Greif took over Sam immediately and he rushed out of the room to find some way, any way to bring back his brother, leaving Cas there alone to deal with his own lose. The lose of the love of his life, a love that was never spoken aloud out of fear, Fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, and fear of the unknown.

Cas uses his grace to heal dean's body but wasn't strong enough to bring him back to life. Cas sat nexts to dean's lifeless body one hand holding dean's and the other running his fingers through dean's hair. Holding back all but a single tear, he finally breaks the silence

"Dean...... I'm sorry this should not have happened to you. I promised you a long time ago to watch over you and I failed. I should be the one laying there not you. Please come back, the world needs you, Sam needs you, I......I need you. Without you I am just an angel with no emotion mindlessly following heaven's orders. Without you I am nothing, Dean Winchester I love you!"

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Dean shot up from is bed in a cold sweat "it was just a dream" he thought to himself. He slowly makes his way to the kitchen to grab a beer because he knew he wasn't getting anymore sleep that night. When he got there he found a particular raven haired angel reading some of the old book that they had found in the men of letters library.

Dean couldn't get the dream out of his head. What if he were to die before he told cas how he felt, hunters don't exactly have the live till you are old and grey type life, and then there was the fact of if Cas felt the same way or if he even could he is an angel not human with a soul like dean.

After a minute Cas registers the dean is in the room

"Hello, Dean what 'are you doing awake I thought you went to bad an hour ago what happened to you four hours?"

"Yeah Cas I did but a nightmare woke me up so I came in here to grab a beer and start looking for a case."

"Are you alright do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah man I'm fine"

"Dean you don't seem fine, please tell me what the dream was about"

"Honestly it was nothing i'm fine"

"Dean"

"Okay fine, we got attacked by hellhounds and I didn't survive"

"Oh dean I understand that after going to hell that hellhounds are fear of yours"

"It wasn't the hellhounds that I was afraid of"

"If not the hellhounds then what?"

"You...... well not you but something you said to me after I was dead"

"What did I say that scared you in such a way"

"You said that you needed me that.....that you loved me, but I wasn't scared that you loved me I was scared that when I woke up that you wouldn't feel the same way."

"Dean do you love me?"

"Yeah Cas I do, I have ever since that day in the barn when I stabbed you"

"Dean I love you too, ever since I laid eyes on your soul in hell, after forty years of torture your soul was still shined brighter than any soul I have ever seen."

Dean grabbed Cas's hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth across Cas's wrist. Dean looked up at Cas through his eyelashes. Cas leaned forward, fisting his other hand in the front of Dean's shirt, and pulled him closer. Dean closed his eyes and pressed his mouth to Castiel's, whimpering just a little bit. He let Cas steer the kiss for a moment, still a bit shell-shocked that this was actually happening. He was finally, FINALLY kissing his angel, and Cas was kissing him back! Soon enough, his body caught up with his brain, and he snaked one hand around the back of Cas's neck, holding him close and licking into his mouth. His other arm wrapped around his waist, and Cas's arm mimicked the action, dragging Dean into his lap as they kissed. Cas broke away, trailing kisses down Dean's neck, nipping and licking the skin there, growling when he felt Dean begin to grind against him.