3:broken

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Can't believe I'm #2 in #colsonbaker thats crazy. For real if you guys keep reading and stuff I'll keep writing. Also comment if you want any specific smut or maybe another set of smut about someone else? Thank you!!! <3 ~R

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You sat at the foot of the stairs dragging a cigarette as if it were giving you breath, bringing you back to life.  And yet with each drag you felt just as dead inside as before. You were utterly in love with him. Never being able to imagine him with someone else in his arms, but you knew now he must not feel the same. 

About ten minutes earlier you were backstage at his show, watching from the sidelines with awe. You loved everything about the way he worked the stage. Even the sweat pouring off of him after each show. Butterflies flew around in your stomach until you saw him pull another girl from the crowd on stage. He danced with her, hands on her hips. They danced with a lust you'd never seen him have for you before. Your heart dropped from your throat to your toes. Almost feeling like it had fallen completely out of your body. Empty. 

So with a lonely tear streaming down your cheek you ran outside as fast as you could and sat on the steps, filling the hole within you with poison smoke. 'Fuck' you thought, 'How could he do that, he knew I was there he knew I was watching.' and with each new thought your heart sunk closer to hell where you now knew his soul dwelled. He truly was the rap devil. Your chest ached and heaved but you were too empty to even cry anymore, it was all a waste. All the time, the love, the support, and everything he'd done just to fool you but why. How could you ever trust again. He said he'd done that to other girls before but he promised, he swore, to never do it to you. He told you you were the one, and now what were you. You felt like nothing. 

Then you heard the click of the door behind you. Turning around and taking the last drag of your smoke he stared down at you. He was tall, sweating, and shirtless despite how cold it was outside. The way he looked into your eyes flooded your mind with memories, endless smiles, breathless moans, sexy smirks, and then the last thought hit you like a bus. The thought of his hips pressed against another girl. 

He spoke your name softly, as if he was filled with regret. You scoffed at him and flicked your cigarette, just to light another one. 

"Why bother," You said with a bite in your tone. 

"Babygirl, please, just listen to me," he reached out to your shoulder trying to turn you around. You pulled away and tried to hide your face, you didn't want him to see you cry.

"Tell me whats wrong," he sat next to you on the steps and gestured for a drag of your smoke. 

You refused taking a long drag and spitting the smoke in his face with a harsh, "why."

"It was that girl wasn't it, fuck," he shook his head and pulled out a cigarette of his own, "I knew I shoulda never done it, my manager just wanted me too."

"Why couldn't it be me? Out there with you? Literally ever?"

"You know nobody wants to know I have you as my own, nobody wants to see me only as yours baby," Colson set his head in his hands. You could feel his guilt sink into the empty place in your chest. 

"You swear thats why?"

"I love you, and only you okay," he turned your chin up to look at him, "you're the one for me darling not some hoe I just pull up on stage. 

His eyes were intoxicating and you became breathless again, this time all you could feel was the warmth of his touch. 

He pulled you closer so his lips were at your ear, "and you fucking know if you were up on that stage with me I wouldn't be able to help myself, and I'm a rockstar not a pornstar doll."

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