The Flawed

1

"I'll be back in a minute, I'm just going to grab us some wine for dinner!" I call into the apartment as I grab my bag next to the door and step out the doorway.

I hear a faint reply telling me to hurry back before the door shuts. I smile and tuck my dark hair behind my ear. Grabbing two black gloves from inside my purse, I slip them over my hands as I make my way down the hall.

Walking down the stairs from the third floor I can't help how happy I am to finally be here in Portland to stay with my best friend. The best friend a person could ask for. Lily and I have been friends since we were young, we had always been close and she has helped me in my hardest times in life. Thoughts slip into my mind, dark, haunting thoughts. I instinctively pull my long hair into a low messy bun, feeling it securely sit at the back of my neck and I take in a deep breath.

I make my way through the lobby and out the front doors, the crisp fall air bites at my nose and I feel my cheeks flush red. How is it already this cold? I check the weather on my phone, 49 degrees.

"How?" I utter under my breath.

Hurried along by the bustle of people walking down the street, my mind soon focuses back on track to find a corner market. I remember Lily telling me that there was one a block down and I had no problem walking knowing that information. However, as time passes and no market is seen I quickly start to regret my decision of not taking her car, she offered but I found it silly to drive in a city.

The day is growing darker but before the sun leaves the sky for the night it gives a gorgeous light show of pinks, oranges and red stretching across the sky like a painters streaks across a blank canvas. Natures art. When the sky turned black the lights along the sidewalks light up and wreathes of pine and holly twinkle, making another magical moment within the last 10 minutes.

Thank god for Lily. Thank god for Portland and it's haven. Both have made me feel so accepted and have given me a new clean slate to work with. I still remember the call that brought me here.

"Alli? What's happening?" Lily's voice is strained, worry washes through the receiver of my phone.

"I...he..Lil, I can't feel my face." I sob. The warm feeling of blood runs down my cheek. I thought it was a tear, until I wiped my face and the crimson ink stains my hand. "I think my face is cut..." I can't feel anything. Physically...emotionally..my soul feels like it abandoned me.

"Allison...that's it. Either come here or I'm calling the police. This is so fucked up. Leave now." She cry's to me.

I sit and hit my head lightly against the wall behind me. My legs are stretched out in front of me. The pad of the feet pushing the door to the bathroom closed, a weak second line of defense. I look down again at the blood on my fingers. My knees are red, my legs are bruised, it's hard to breath. My already large lips are swollen and one is cut, the taste of iron invades me mouth as I lick my lips.

I'm afraid to leave, I'm afraid of the change. What if I can't do it? What if I leave and I'm just too damaged to make a decent life anyways?

"Please Alli...I can't let this happen to you again." Lily sobs as well, "I don't care how long or what you need but you have to leave. We can sort out all the details once you get here. Please."

"Okay." My voice is void now of emotion. I can't think, it hurts too much.

Before I know it I have put makeup over my face, more than I've ever worn before. The reflection in the mirror try's to coax me to stay. Telling me I'm a bitch for leaving. Screaming at me about how worthless I am. 'Just clean up for once!.'