Our Untold Truth

Farewell?

It was disconcerting, meeting her on such short notice. I paced back and forth as my teeth sank into my bottom lip for the umpteenth time that day. It felt as though I were in a lucid dream as my eyes nervously followed each and every step she took. Thereupon the highest step of the stairs, black shoes adorned her lusciously long legs as she graciously climbed down to offer me the greatest gift of all - her time.

Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao - a lady of the fine arts she was. People said there was nothing she could not do - she played all sorts of instruments, her true talent lied in playing the piano and guitar, her voice was like that of a siren: mesmerizing as it led everyone to the sinful trap of becoming enamored with her forever when she danced, everyone watched. When she spoke everyone listened. When she walked, every pair of eyes followed her every move, entranced by her lithe figure.

"Miss Estrabao, thank you for accepting to meet me here," I said.

She simply nodded, her dark eyes watching me curiously. She did not hold my gaze for long. A part of me wanted to question her, but I found myself surrendering to cowardice once more.

"My brother won't be back until tomorrow." I searched her eyes for any sign of disappointment as there should've been, given the fact that she was his betrothed, but found none. My heart leaped for joy, but soon confusion settled there as well. Why were her eyes so guarded yet so intrigued by everything around her?

Camila simply nodded as she sat on the same table as me.

"I trust you had a safe trip." She finally replied, though her change of topic left me further bemused.

I simply nodded and thanked her for her concern - predominantly out of politeness. It seemed sheer ludicrousness had led us both here. We had so much to say yet neither of us found the courage to voice it. I swallowed as I made my first attempt.

"I would like to apologize for leaving on such short notice after the ball."

Something lit up in her eyes as though her brain recalled our last night together - the way we'd both danced. Both of us had masks on, though everyone could recognize her like the angel she'd chosen to be that night. I, on the other hand, was impossible to spot as I'd dressed as a man. My normally long hair had been cut in half and then pulled into a bun that was hidden by light brown locks. I even had a mask on. My only distinguishing feature - my green eyes that seemed far less common here than they were around the rest of the world - were the only giveaway, but no one managed to hold my gaze for long except for her.

Something had transpired between us that night as we danced. I remember the smile she wore on her face as we glided along the ballroom floor, the serene expression her face had was so unknown to me that for a second I thought I'd been dreaming, but everything was really just like her lips on mine behind one of the pillars. We were reckless, we acted like savages, exploring each other behind the walls of the castle that my family owned and soon she was going to become the lady of Carcerem.

I shook my head when she spoke to rid myself of the sorrowful trip down memory lane.

"It was quite an eventful night and you have nothing to be sorry for," she answered.

My eyes widened at the coldness in her eyes and the sharpness in her voice. I swallowed with much more difficulty again.

"I missed you. I came to tell you that I will be going back to the sea tomorrow."

The softness in her expression at my confession soon turned to astonishment.

"I would like for you to come with me," I continued, my courage rising by the hopeful glow her eyes had that soon turned solemn. I inwardly felt my heart drop.

"You know there is nothing more that I would love to do in this world, but I cannot risk it. I have a duty to your bother and my family to continue with this allegiance, plus your family nearly caught so many times. We cannot risk it again, Lauren."

My eyes fell at her honesty and clear-mindedness. It seemed I was older but had yet to learn to do what was required of me. I never even planned on falling for her. It just happened. We were just two careless souls that met at unfortunate times. Perhaps somewhere else at a different time we could've lived out our love happily. The experience would've been drugging, addictive and worthwhile. It was becoming more and more difficult to let go of her this time as it was going to be our last.

"What about your family?" she asked surprising me.

I smiled sadly before I locked eyes with her.

Hers wavered slightly. I inwardly smirked. She'd always been unable to hold my gaze for long without becoming affected.

"Are you sure you won't be coming back?" She prodded a second time.

I simply shook my head. My place was out there going from harbor to harbor, meeting different people and seeing different faces in hopes of mending my broken heart. I knew I could never fulfill my father's wishes of marrying into royalty, securing an allegiance with a family just if not more powerful than us and raising my children. I simply loved women and women only and I was going to be with one or die alone. Unfortunately, I'd made the mistake of falling for my bother's fiancé and she was stupidly brave enough to return my love for her and my affections, but this affair of ours had to come to an end. It seemed the time for that had come to pass at the most unfavorable moment.

"My place is out there and yours is by my bother's side. I am sure you are going to be a beautiful bride.", I answered simply.

She bit her lip and looked down. I took that as my cue to leave. I did not wish to say farewell to her as I was certain I was going to break down into this chair at this small cafe, and it was the last thing I wanted.

"What should I say to them?", always the considerate person that she was. She was worried that my family was trembling in fear and anticipation of news for me. The letters I'd sent them were too few and too far in between. In the last one, I'd sent it was specifically addressed to Camila. I highly doubt anyone suspected the true nature of our relationship. After all, in front of everyone, we were the best of friends and nothing more. Still, given our affiliation with one another, it was still logical for her to come and enquire about me, visit or see me even. Perhaps even her care for me would hardly be misinterpreted as something different than the worry for a dear friend.

"Tell them there was a storm and I fell overboard," I replied as I took my leave. Finally, she reacted. Camila bolted out of her seat and ran after me. She cornered me in the small alleyway, careful not to make a scene at the busy street in front. My heart ached for the latter no matter how selfish it was.

"You're being unfair to us all, do you realize it?" She half-screamed. The slap that followed at my lack of response resonated throughout the stone cold walls and my pale skin reddened, her fingers imprinted on my cheek.

I smiled sadly as I lifted my tear-stained gaze to her. She gasped both at my openness and the act she'd just committed. She opened her mouth to apologize, but I beat her to it. I closed my fingers around her delicate jaw and covered her lips with my own. Her protests were swallowed by my hungry lips as I devoured her for one final time, savoring her rich taste and drinking her sounds like a man possessed. She was the ambrosia I yearned for but could taste quite rarely if never again after I depart.

I soon let her go seeing as she'd not responded to the kiss. I did not wish to ask for the reason. Perhaps she was still too frozen for it. The moment I opened my mouth to bid her farewell she lunged herself at me and brought me into a fierce embrace. As she soaked my white shirt with her bitter tears I smiled sadly. The kisses she layered upon my neck and the bite mark I was going to be wearing for the next few days were the icing on the cake.

Her sorrowful lullaby was what was going to haunt me for years to come.