Stay: A Short Story

One

Hope.

Hope is really a dangerous and terrifying word. Thinking that things will get better over time. But what can you think if you've been saying that for years? Pray they said. Pray and trust that everything happens for a reason, though, does it really? We control what we do, how we act, what we say, even how we affect others lives.

Hope is truly a word that someone like me doesn't believe in. Not when you're being rushed to the hospital with bruises and glass shards protruding from your skin. Not when your lungs struggle with every breath, when you're numb from the pain, and with every word from the EMT falling on deaf ears. Indistinct syllables registered in my brain every now and then from the woman that was still trying to stop the blood from gushing out of my wounds. The harsh florescent lights and rocking of the vehicle made me feel nauseous. 

Why was I here again? Everything was blurry. Nothing came to mind that could make me end up in this situation. The last thing I remember was the argument I had with my girlfriend and then leaving for a walk. A flash and then nothing. Oh. I must've gotten hit. That's strange, wasn't that my last thought before I stepped onto the road? I couldn't remember.

One breath in, another shaky breath out.

When would this end? I've been waiting for the sweet release of death for a long time. I'm just one step closer now. Not intentional like before, but still, it's a step closer.

The headache inducing lights suddenly faded and more people surrounded me. Assessing the state my wrecked body was in. Did I look bloody and broken? Probably. But soon enough a softer florescent light came into my hazy vision, different than the ambulance, but still bright. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted the darkness to take me, to let me move on from this cruel world.

A loud bang sounded in my ears and that's when all the noises from the real world came rushing in. Voices and many other sounds flooded my eardrums, making me want to cover my ears and scream. Beeping of machines and another voice, much closer than the rest, a soft touch of woman holding my hand. "Please stay, do it for the ones who want you to live. For my team and I. Stay and live and fight. Don't let your demons control you."

Her voice was soothing, mother like in a way.

Stay. . . Would it be worth it?

My eyes fluttered closed. Eternal sleep was calling me, and I wanted it and welcomed it. Last thing I heard was the shout of the woman who was still holding my hand.

  "Hurry and get her into surgery! We don't have much time left!"