I Miss You

'I miss you. And no, it's not us miss, It's you. I miss you. I miss watching your eyes light up when you smile, I miss watching you're emotions change when you looked at me, I miss being able to tell you everything. I miss holding your hand and I miss your terrible flirting, because that's what made me fall for you. You were my friend first, and I miss that. I miss the brown of your eyes. The melted chocolate colour of them. I miss the way your fingers would make patterns on my skin subconsciously, I miss your subtle ways of telling me that you cared. I miss how accepting you were. I miss the way you'd tell me I was stupid when you were teaching me math and we both knew you didn't mean it. I miss our friendship. And how we were a secret. I miss that too. Nobody else knew because our parents wouldn't approve. It was just us who knew. It was our secret.

We were different. We could have made it, but you weren't ready to put your heart on the line and I was too scared. I loved you and you loved me, but it just wasn't enough. We weren't enough. And after it ended it became too weird to go back to normal.

I miss they way that whenever you'd meet my eyes from across the room, you shoot me that adorable, secret, grin that was meant for me, and me alone. I miss the way you would tell me I was amazing and make me believe it, because I don't anymore. I miss the way that you didn't judge me for all my mistakes. I miss how protective you were. I miss how jealous you would get when I didn't spend enough time with you because I was hanging it out with other guys. I miss the protective look you'd get. I miss that dominant glint that you would get whenever I challenged you. That was hot. I miss how you were the only person who could calm me down. I miss knowing what love was, because, back then, love was you. I could imagine spending my whole life with you, I knew that it probably wouldn't have worked out, but I imagined it anyway.

I miss the way you would steal kisses when no one was looking. I miss the way my skin would tingle wherever you touched me. I miss the way I would replay moments we had that day every night and go to sleep with a smile on my face. I miss how happy you made me.

I Miss You.

You were my best friend, then you became my crush, then my boyfriend, then my ex, then a stranger. It's sad how we know so much about each other but we have to act like strangers. I have to pretend that she knows what she's talking about. She even got your favourite ice cream flavour wrong. It's not plain chocolate, it's the brownie one. And your favourite colour isn't paradise blue, it's sea blue. And then she'll come and tell me about everything you guys did today, and I have to listen because she's my best friend and she doesn't know that anything happened. It's out best kept secret isn't it? I have to endure it all because I refuse to ditch her and I can't tell her because I made a promise to you. So I listen and try my best not to correct her when she gets things about you wrong. I have to see you both everyday, together, being a couple and it breaks my heart a little more everyday. I know I never said a word to you even when you asked me if I had a problem with you dating her, but that was only because I couldn't do that to the both of you. She liked you and you liked her. The fact that I loved you was irrelevant. And after summer? When you asked me what happened? When you asked why I became the ice queen? That was because I sealed my heart off, because I couldn't take the pain anymore. Yeah, I'm cold hearted now, but that's only because it can't take anymore damage, so I locked it up. I don't have much of a heart left anymore, because I gave it to you a long time ago, and I never really got it back. So I'm this. I hope she makes you happy. I hope she does for you what I never could. I hope she makes you want to give her your heart because I never could. That's where we went wrong. It was my fault. I'm sorry. I hope you guys are happy together.

You promised that you would always be there to melt my ice cold heart. What happened to that?

Never mind though, because you aren't mine anymore. Sorry.'

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I was doing the 30 day letter challenge and this was one of them. You had to write 30 letters in 30 days to 30 different people.

Day 20- write a letter to someone who broke your heart the hardest.

I walked over to him and handed him the letter. I told him it was for the challenge and told him to read it and walked away. I saw him open it, and then he disappeared from my line of sight.

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(Guys POV)

She thought she didn't have my heart. She thought it was her fault. She was wrong. I gave her my heart, I just didn't know I had hers. That's why we didn't work out. And I missed her too. I really did. I could never be happy with someone that wasn't her. But I wasn't going to tell her. I can't break her heart all over again, and break her best friends at the same time. I can't do that to her. I loved her too much.

I promised I'd melt your heart, and I will, it just won't be directly anymore. I'll make sure someone else does it for me, because I can't. I wasn't there for you and for that I am sorry. You deserve better. You really do.