buzzed | kth (m.)

chapter two

It had been weeks since you'd heard from Taehyung. Properly, that is.

He hadn't contacted you much since you had allowed him to come over. Two weeks had already passed, but you were still encompassed with absolute mortification that you'd allowed him, your best friend, to have sex with you. What were you going to do?

Part of you was honestly happy that you hadn't seen or really spoken to him since that night. The other part of you, however, was crushed. He was your best friend. Shouldn't he have at least stayed and talked it out with you? Or at least made an effort to discuss what was going to happen after?

You hadn't tried to get in touch over this issue, either, you supposed. You chalked it up to the ache you still felt whenever you thought of that night; of your messy sheets and your dirtied pink vibrator, which you had thrown into a drawer and slammed shut, not taking it out since.

Your phone vibrated and you sighed, picking it up and sluggishly sliding it open to check your messages as you relaxed on your couch in your pajamas. It was from Jeongyeon.

[jeongyeon 7:23pm]
there's a party on saturday. u in?

You thought it over for a bit before typing out a reply. It was only two days until it was Saturday and you really should get out of the house.

[you 7:24pm]
sure. lemme know the details tomorrow

Throwing your phone onto the spot beside you, you got comfortable on the couch and turned on your laptop, which was already connected to the HDMI port on your TV. You opened up Netflix and scanned through some of the options, but an incoming text made you pause. When you glanced at the screen, your heart leaped into your throat and you felt your stomach drop.

[taehyung 7:47pm]
hey, u wanna watch a movie?

You gnawed on your bottom lip while you debated answering his text. Did you want to watch a movie with him? Before, your days were full of moments just like this; either you or Tae would text the other, asking if one of you was up for a movie night. Usually, you'd just log into Netflix and watch the same movie, since neither of you really had the time or will to go to the other person's apartment to watch together. Sometimes you even FaceTimed while watching it.

[you 7:53pm]
sure

A part of you felt a spark of guilt flare up in your stomach at your curt response to him. Technically, he hadn't really done anything wrong. Yeah, he'd hurt you, but you weren't his girlfriend. He didn't have an obligation to stay, or even to talk about what happened that night; you just hoped that he would. You stamped down that now familiar ache in your chest as much as you could—you would be fine, you would.

You were ready to watch whatever Taehyung picked—the last time the two of you did this, he had burst into your apartment and demanded you put down everything and watch a movie with him. At the time, you had been so irritated that he'd made you stop in the middle of your work, pulling you down to sit with him on the couch. His hands had been all over you, as they always were since he was a touchy person, and you remember you complained and kept trying to push him to his own side; now, sitting alone and looking at the sparse and short messages the two of you had shared over the past two weeks, you missed him. You missed him so much you didn't know what to do. The spot beside you, where he always spent his time laughing loudly and forcing you to play with him, was cold and too empty.

Everything felt empty.

You couldn't figure out who you were without Taehyung; you weren't sure if this was in any way healthy for a simple friendship, but you didn't care. You just knew that without him, you were unsure about what you should be doing.