Suicidal doesn't always mean holding a gun to your head, or wrapping a rope around your neck. It's not always drowning in a bottle of pills, or drinking enough for alcohol poisoning. Sometimes, it means smoking a cigarette in the hopes that you’ll get cancer and die. Or jaywalking across the street without looking, because you don’t care if you get hit by a car. Sometimes it means having sex with a stranger, hoping you’ll get an STD and die. Or not sleeping and not eating in the hopes that the exhaustion will kill you. Or even not washing your hands in the hopes that you’ll get sick and die. Sometimes it means being cruel to the people you love or ignoring them, because if they leave you’ll have less reason to go on living. Or not setting your alarm for work, so you’ll get fired and have less of a purpose. Sometimes it means partying hard in the hopes that your liver will fail and you’ll die. Or putting yourself in dangerous and potentially painful situations, so maybe it’ll be the last straw. Being suicidal doesn’t necessarily mean trying to die. A lot of times, it means not putting any effort into living.
