Short stories revolving around Zhao Yulan trying to ensure WeiLan lasts forever. ;)
These are short stories bigger than drabbles I think? Each one will be from Zhao's perspective as he learns to navigate loving and living with the man of his dreams.
The most reserved are often the most starved of affection.
The bigger problem was that Shen Wei didn't seem to know what to do with affection. It was heartbreaking and currently the source of Zhao Yulan's frustration, not the case files he was supposed to be reviewing in light of the latest murder. He sat leaning back against the armrest of the sofa, a lollipop stick between his teeth as he endlessly replayed recent events.
All attempts at simple physical affection had spiraled out of his control so fast, he felt like he was suffering whiplash.
Shen Wei either didn't really react which was okay or reacted strangely, be it leaning on him when they were sitting together on the sofa or as of twenty minutes ago, rubbing his back as he talked about his struggles with a depressed student. He had meant it in a supportive gesture, comfort and loving but Shen Wei had simply shrugged his hand off saying, "My shoulder is fine Yunlan." As if Zhao was being strange in wanting to touch him.
He was supposed to be a mature, capable adult who had faced down dangers beyond normal human imagination. What he was actually feeling was rejection which was absurd because who could possibly love him more? It just didn't make sense. In bed, Shen Wei was all over him, an absolute demon that Zhao worshiped, running his hands passionate but reverent all over his skin, biting kisses and those eyes...the way they looked at him...
It didn't translate to the daylight hours out of the bed. Companionable touches they were okay. A hand to the shoulder...a pat on the arm. Anything else brought forth reactions that made no sense.
Shen Wei was a unbending believer in personal space, politeness and professional distance. He was an exemplary professor, stoic mentor and stood at the very heights of academia without a single blemish on his record. He was expert at kindly rebuffing, scoring lines in the ground with his blade, a demarcation line that would be unforgivable to cross. Those walls had reinforced inner walls, plus miles of barbed wire, hidden only by a politely friendly smile.
He shied away from emotional contact and would really only accept physical contact from Zhao Yulan. All the months he known Shen, all the times he seen him on the campus, or with fellow professors, not a single one violated his space in any way. It made him look so remote and alone, making Zhao's heart ache for him in response, but it wasn't something you could talk about. The last thing he wanted was for Shen Wei to think the only time he could be affectionate was during sex nor did he want to guilt Shen Wei into accepting touch that made him uncomfortable.
In this, Shen Wei was a paradox. He could comfort the hysterical, soothe a child, convince a determined suicide to rethink their life plan and would run like the wind if someone crossed too many 'personal territory only' boundaries. Lines etched in steel not sand.
This was a problem for Zhao Yulan. Shen Wei wanted him close, wanted his love and he suspected his affection too, as the week when he didn't touch him at all, upset Shen Wei to the extreme. He had looked so wounded when he had asked if they were okay, it had shattered his heart. He swore he would never do that again, but all attempts since hadn't worked either. This was a puzzle and an issue.
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