Hey guys. This story is quite different. This happens a few months ago so that's why I haven't been posting. I know it's not a cheerful one but this meant a lot to me.
——————————————————————
The car trip was nothing but silence; Jack and I are visiting grandmother at the Lady Salento Hospital, however, this could possibly be our last. My mind racing with thoughts which only caused more sadness. What if I'm not ready for her to leave just yet? I wonder how Jack could possibly feel about this. I found my eyes had drifted towards Jack; he seemed neither happy nor sad, his face showed no emotion; this only made me feel sadder. Father was at home nursing a hangover which mother is taking care of. I knew he wasn't handling the thought of losing his own mother.
I look back out of the car window, an orange glow covered the entire sky mixed with pink and purple, dark fluffy clouds danced to the rhythm of the moving vehicle, watching a sea of red and yellow go by one by one, it was a surprise to see so much activity considering that is was only a Sunday. I was too concentrated on my own thoughts that I hadn't realised that we had arrived; something gently touched my arm, flinching slightly I look over at my brother Jack, who gave me a sympathetic smile, returning a small smile, we both unbuckle our seat belts making the short journey into the hospital; dreading the fact of seeing her in such a horrific state.
Passing by different rooms which smelt of chemical products mixed the scent of elderly people, begin looked after by nurses and doctors all wearing their coloured scrubs. After walking around for quite a while, Jack and I made it to her isolated room. I glance at mother, I could already tell he didn't want to enter the room. I stare at the wooden door, building enough courage to enter. All around the room had paining's of roses, on every single wall, I don't know why but it made me feel less sad in a way. Until my eyes met her. It only took one look, one single look, to make both of our hearts break. Her body so pale and limp, she had only an oxygen mask, just enough to keep her going a little while longer.
I couldn't bear to see her like this. I squeeze my eyes shut, clenching my fist. I didn't want to be here anymore. I don't think she even knows we're here, or who we are. Jack sat down on the sofa beside her, as I followed his actions. I hated seeing Jack cry, to see him in such horrible, heart wrenching pain. I don't know how long we have been here, minutes, maybe hours? We didn't dare to say a word. Looking towards the door, nurses all surrounded it, peering through the little glass window. They all seem sad, that they knew this was our last hello.
I look back at Jack he looked like he had been crying for days; red buffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. Jack gathered gathered his things, I knew it was time for us to leave. He stood beside her, his fingers gently running through her white hair. Jack couldn't stop crying; it was getting harder for grandmother to breathe. Jack moved away and silently cried to himself. And now it's my turn. I knelt beside her holding her and my other hand on her cheek. She was so cold to the touch.
I couldn't stop crying, I squeezed her hand,
"Grandma, I hope you can hear me. I just want you to know that I love you so very much. So very, very much. I hope I made you proud. And I hope you'll meet your great grandchildren someday."
I chocked on my words, I didn't want this to be a goodbye, I didn't want this...
"I'm going to miss you so much, I'm always here okay...."
I looked over at my heart broken brother, he was just as much of a wreck as I was. He knelt down beside me, and held me close, not letting go of my grandmother's hand. We both just sat there and cried. I looked at her once more,
"I love you...I'll see you soon..."
With all the strength that she had left, she managed to smile. A tear fell from her closed eyes. I smiled back and kissed her, wincing at how cold she felt.
"...goodbye"
I managed to chock out between my horrendous sobs.
We both left the room, gently closing the door. We both fell against the wall, resting up against it. After a moment of silence I faintly here a flat line. We both just broke down not caring if anyone was watching. A nurse walked into the room and unplugged everything, after a few seconds she came back out.
"I'm sorry for your loss.."
That's it...she's gone.
