Morituro

Breath Of Fresh Air

We pull away awkwardly. Juliano rubs the back of his neck suddenly finding interest at his leather dress shoes. I wrap my finger in tendrils of Carmel coloured hair, biting my lip, looking anywhere but at him. We are both being smothered in the tension, each waiting for the other to explain themselves and each too afraid to address what just happened.

Juliano sighs, "Kei" my eyes meet his, he looks dead serious, "we should go inside-- and we probably should never speak of this-- obviously this was a mistake. One that should never happen again."

I nod my head in agreement. I mean just because we just kissed eachother means nothing. It was a spur of the moment. It was teenage hormones and angst-- it was nothing. I feel an unmistakable shooting pain in my chest-- in the very place my heart should be situated but it's long been misplaced. Sometime between the past and the present moment I'm at now.

"You're right, this should've never happened. Just so you know it wasn't a walk in the park for me. In other words it was the shitiest kiss of my life. I'd even go to the lengths to paying someone to prevent this from happening again. That's how much it sucked.”I hiss out as I strut away from a shocked Juliano. I left him in the dirt. The very place he belongs.

As soon as I escape the long row of grape vines I break out into a sprint. To where I have no clue nor do I know why. Maybe to escape the truth? Maybe to make myself Remeber the real me is still alive no matter how long it's been since shes graced the surface. I promise myself I'll protect her until that day arrives-- even if that means she never sees the light of day. I now understand why the old hag locked rapunzel in a tower. Damn prince's thinking their the shit. They're right they are shit.

I stop at a small shed a few yards away from the house. I'm just about to take a seat on the step at its small door when I see the silhouette of a person and a small orange flame where their mouth should be. I realise they haven't acknowledged my prescence yet as the person tips back their head and exhales a large cloud of smoke. I cough, exposing myself to the other person.

"Crap." says the mysterious figure as he drops the cigarette from his lips and stomps it to nothing more than a few wisps of grey coloured smoke.

Upon further inspection I make out the figure to be Luca. I felt as if a truck had just hit me. The last person I would ever assume that would ever place a cigarette between his lips-- is doing just that. What the hell.

It's not that Luca is a square, a goody twoshoes or any other lame name that you could call someone who simply obeys the rules. He's actually the furthest from it he's probably the most mischievous person I've ever met and that's saying a lot because I've had the misfortune of knowing a shit ton. The thing that really surprises me about it is that he's not the bad boy type-- more like the boy next door and as much as I hate labels he really fits that mold quite well. He's charming, childish, funny and comes from a good family. Something about this tells me it's way out of his character. Not that I know him that well but I'm a very observant person--you have to be if you don't want to set yourself up for vulnerbility.

"what the hell, Luca?" I sputter confusion and slight amusement wrap my words topped off with a bow of colourful language.

He sighs in relief. "Thank goodness it's you, Kei. I almost shat my pants."

“Thanks for that image.” I grimace. “And why the hell are you glad it is me. I could be a snitch for all you know?”

He runs his fingers through his hair, “oh damn, please don't say anything. Please... ” he is about to get on his knees when I stop him.

“No, No Luca don't do that to Hermés.” as I refer to his expensive pants that I'd doubt he would have trouble replacing.

I take a seat on the step of the small shed. Luca plonks himself down next to me.

“Who said you could sit here.” I say, sounding very much like Regina George.

He chuckles as he leans back on his forearms. “ Just incase you forgot I was here first.” he looks at me with a self-righteous grin.

“Talking about that-- why on the hell were you smoking a cigarette!” I watch as his face contorts to an emotion I can't decipher, his shoulders tense and his head drops.

“I have my reasons.” his clipped reply doesn't stop me from prying.

“You're only sixteen, Luca. You should still be watching Cars in your footsie pyjamas eating pop tarts until you physically can no longer eat anymore.” I say with a serious expression on my face. He loosens up as his face lights up with amusement.

“you're a funny girl, Kei.” he says humour still evident in his tone.

“you're only realising this now? I'm insulted.” I gasp placing a hand on my chest. “but seriously now, you're too young. I know I don't know you that well but please just answer me. Think of me as your therapist.” I know it's contradictory for me to tell him to open up if I will never will but something tells me by the longing look in his eyes that if someone doesn't help him soon he will loose himself. I know first hand what that's like.

He settles his head in his hands and looks up into my eyes. His eyes remind me of his brother's-- I mentally slap myself. He's the last person I should be thinking about.

“Things have happened in my life to make me this way.” On first glance you'd doubt that him or any of the people I've met have any troubles but if you cut them open they're the same as any average person. Literally and figuretively.

“You sound so much like your brother.” I say rolling my eyes my voice filled with obvious repulsion.

“Maybe he sounds like me! Ever thought of that?” his voice begins to rise and I realise I've hit a sore spot or maybe thee sore spot.
Don't worry medium sized dellucci, I don't like you're brother either.

“You have no idea what it's like to grow up in someone else's shadow.” he seethes. He seems light years different from his usual happy-go-lucky self.

“You're right I don't... I can't even begin to imagine what that might feel like or even pretend to give you some phony advice thats supposed to make us both feel better but...” I hesitate for a moment, looking deep in his eyes and say, “ you're an outstanding person. I saw the way you were with your brother the other day. When he had-- you know, but anyways I've never seen someone so brave to help their own family like that and if I must really say I don't think you are in Julianos shadow but rather the other way aeound.” this makes him chuckle. I shake my head and say,“ I'm not kidding, you're brother isn't so amazing-- he actually Fricken sucks. Hard.” this gets a kick out of Luca.

“Wow, thanks Kei. I'm glad I'm not as sucky as my brother. That really means alot.” he laughs sticking out his tongue in the dark.

“Way, way, way less sucky.” If only he knew.

“That's the best compliment I've received my entire life.” If I could see him I assume that he would be giving me a very cheeky grin right about now.

He laughs, “It's almost dinner, we should head inside before my uncle Antonio eats everything and besides I heard something and we often have animal attacks” his voice laced in fear. Whether it's real or fake I can't tell nor do I have the time to decipher.

He bolts towards the large home and very freaked out I sprint after him. “I swear if you step in a whole I'll leave you to rot!” he throws his head back with laughter.

“I'm warning you Dellucci. I will leave you and you will die! If the wolves don't get you I swear I will!!”

“I'd think you'd have to catch me first!”

I have a strange feeling that it would be better to be attacked by a wolf than to see what awaits me at dinner.