To Sara, who basically forced me to publish this. I love you.
I glanced at my phone beside me on the couch, my lock screen smiling back at me. Well, not exactly smiling, more like smirking back at me. It was a picture I had taken at the beginning of summer when we were in Italy with his family. Harry was wearing a white t-shirt, his hair was a loose mess and he had a hint of a mustache. The warm light, the sunflowers in the bottom corner, his loving eyes, everything was a reminder of how happy I was in that precise moment. How happy I thought I would be for the rest of my life.
I still couldn't fucking bring myself around changing it.
I had never thought it would come a day when I wouldn't be allowed to love Harry Styles anymore. I had a fan crush on him when he was still a boy participating at X Factor and I had loved him behind my phone screen during his first One Direction days, so when one day my sister moved out and her new roommate turned out to be Gemma Styles, it was no surprise that I fell in love with him. Completely, utterly, head over heels in love. What I never expected was for him to fall for me too.
We had met at our sisters' housewarming party. I was still a teenager, still in high school, and he was barely twenty, and nothing could have me prepared for what was about to come.
« Liz, this house is so nice! This view, oh my, I love it! » I chanted, holding my sister's hand while she was showing me around her new apartment. Oh God, how clueless I was.
« I know, right? I got so lucky. Plus Gemma is so very nice, you'll love her! She'll be here any minute, she had to go fetch her mum and brother. Now Fran, go grab a sandwich or something, I'll go talk to those people. » she smiled at me and shuffled to the living room, full of all friends and some close relatives of both of them.
I was happily chatting with my mum in the kitchen when we heard the front door open and a girl's voice shout « We're here! ».
My sister sprinted to the door, offering courtesies and calling for us to go meet the newly arrived.
Mum pushed my back towards the door, trailing behind me. I turned the corner with my eyes fixated on my skirt, trying to smooth over some wrinkles. When I lifted my eyes lifted, I almost choked on my breath.
« It's so nice meeting you, Anne, and Harry of course. I'm Sarah, and this is my youngest daughter Francesca. » my mum said, kissing Anne's cheek and shaking Harry's hand.
« Hello! It'-it's very nice to meet you. » I babbled, mentally slapping myself for not having caught on sooner who Gemma was. It was so stupid of me.
Harry smiled at me, completely unaware of the effect it had on me. It turned out later I had had a certain effect on him too.
I bit my lip, pushing back the tears that were about to spill from my eyes. I was the one who ended it, I had been the one to leave, therefore I wasn't allowed to cry over it, nor to still be in love with him.
My cat, that damned cat, jumped on my lap, nestling over the warm blanket I was wrapped in. The fucker, alias Harry, had given it to me almost a year ago, saying its name was Edward so that 'a part of me will always be around to keep you company when I'm on tour, love'. I had then proceeded to jump him and kiss him breathless.
What we had shared was a love so young and so pure, total complicity and partnership, one being the other's best friend and support system. He was the love of my life, my heart had always been his. That was the only thing that hadn't changed even if I had broken up with him.
