"Why do you put me through so much Harlen?" I screamed. "Im hurt too, I blame myself everyday; we have to move forward". Seeing him pack his shit with ease is really about to make me kill him. Silently throwing t-shirts and sweats in one duffle bag with cologne and cufflinks in the other. "You know what you did,why do you continue to try?" we locked eyes for a moment.
" Jovanna, Why would you even come back?" he said so sarcastically. Then as if i had no control over my body, I ended up flying across the bed to stop him from walking down the steps of our apartment . Harlen is my soon to be exfiancé, fresh on the NFL. His 6'6 and 240lb athletic body would not let my tiny ass hands to keep my grip for long, keep in mind that I am 5'4 and a half and petite. That's when the true bitch in me came out, "FUCK YOU NIGGA ! You're gonna be sorry that you ever left me bit--" I blurted. Before i could even finish he turned and smack the living shit out of me for the first time ever.
You could see the fire-like rage in his eyes. All over his face reads "I am drained" but apart of me was not giving up . We were together since middle school on and off yes, but everybody in the hood knew that we were crazy in love with each other. "You can keep this damn house, just leave me the hell alone" he growled slamming the door behind him. I sat on the side of that door for about 20 minutes soaked in tears and sweat, thinking about everything I did that lead us up to this point.
I lost everybody I ever loved. I had to get my mind off of things so I got up, fixed the room back up and prepare for a bath. Started some music from my phone onto the bathrooms surround sound, Sorry Not Sorry flowed through the speakers. I filled the bathtub with warm water and threw in my favorite bath bomb. I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind.
After long hard scrubbing and meditation, I got out the tub and air dried as I thought of the perfect outfit. I looked over at the clock it read 12:45pm, I stay losing track of time. I quickly oiled down and put on a crisp white t-shirt and boyfriend jeans, then slipped into my slides because I was getting my toes done anyway. Walking out the house feeling great, I smiled at my all black Range Rover with cream interior. The great thing about being with Harlen was he ALWAYS took care of me and bought me the flyest things. Well that was before all of the problems.
On my ride to the shop, I called up my homegirl because I desperately need to get all of this mess off of my mind. Drinks with my girl would always solve these kind of problems.
Ring ring...ring ring... ring
"Long time no talk to, wassup Jo!"
"Hey girl, I am in town and need to go out tonight" I sobbed
"You already know I am down, I just have to hit up my man for some funds, a sister got to get her nails done over." she sanged.
"Listen i already know, I'm headed to get my hair and nails done, I have to look fly because i refuse to be single for the rest of my life." I said.
"I been telling you to cheat on that man. Ard girl I gotta go call me when you're ready" she giggled.
I could hear her laughing with her nigga in the background. I couldn't be mad at the girl she's so happy in her relationship, I just miss those times with me and Harlen .
AT THE SALON
I am so ready to leave this shop and away from these crusty ass bitches. Since I've been here I've been getting greasy looks and eyerolls. Chicks turning their heads left and right just to get a quick glance at me. I'm not even sure if i'm just that cute or if somebody want to get dragged all through this muthfucka.
"Don't worry about them girl, there's just been some shit floating around about a little girl and i guess you fit the description of the mother. The stylist mumbled.
"I'm really not even sure, it supposedly had happened over six months ago; all i know is that it was a nasty situation. I'm done that'll be $165" she added.
"Thank you" I said as i paid the lady.
I gave the best resting bitch face that i could without even stopping to admire my hair. I thought coming back here would be easy, instead people are still gossiping about me and mine. If i don't put an end to this, my life will be ruined faster than i know it. I wish I could blame anybody but myself, I need to let some of this anger out. I feel so defeated by the world, I hate allowing people to have one up on me in any situation. I ALWAYS have to end up on top and after today, I will.
TBC
