Romantic love story

Chapter Forty-one: Our Brave Romance

He had to think. He hadn't gotten this far in their marriage by letting his passions rule him. She was putting him on notice, but a cool mind was better than a distracted one, and he fought to remember that. Still, this was big. What had just happened between them was big, and it sucked the air out of that jeep even though he tried to keep breathing. Her timing. It unnerved him. That highly personal list, the verse to put him on notice.

All happening right before their honeymoon.

He tried to play it down, but she couldn't have done more to get his attention if she'd stood in the middle of the road and waved a big white flag. She was surrendering herself, she was trusting him to do the right thing.

His heart began to race, and he gripped the steering wheel.

He tried to force a relaxed calm into his veins, one he didn't feel but needed desperately. Wiping his eyes, he struggled back thoughts of what he'd do if he spiraled into a flashback when he was holding her close, thoughts of his own abuse, and the risk of making things worse for Maddie if he broke down when she needed him most. This came at him in rapid-fire thought, and it was all he could do to keep from pulling over and taking several deep breaths. She was counting on him so heavily.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe the timing was just a strangely bizarre coincidence. Maybe she wasn't putting him on notice at all, and she'd been too embarrassed to tell him that he'd misread her signals. He tried to remember her face. She'd nodded that it was okay, she'd even squeezed his hand, but what if he was reading more into it than he should? After all, what did he know about women?

He was new to this.

Doubt, even a tiny margin of it, gave him anguish, but it also gave relief. He kept doubt in the back of his mind and decided that this one time, it was a healthy thing. He could be mistaken. And even if he wasn't, that didn't mean anything had to happen soon. They had already agreed about the nature of their honeymoon, and until he found out otherwise, and had agreed to it, he would assume nothing had changed. So far it hadn't, right? There. He felt better now. In a painfully agonizing sort of way that really didn't make him feel good at all. When he thought about it.

With a happy little sigh, Maddie smiled at him, and Terry's heart ran away in complete and total bliss. He groaned. It meant he had to start all over again, and remind himself of why he was doubting her timing.

And he was determined to doubt it.

As the apartment complex came into view, Terry searched the parking lot for Tim's minivan.

"I don't see them." Maddie turned and looked at Terry, and he remembered his doubt. "Your ears are turning red."

"They are?" Terry pulled into his parking space, checked the mirror as he shut off the engine. "It's nice weather we're having, isn't it? I'm glad it's not raining."

"Why are your ears doing that?"

"Maddie-- the weather."

"It's not raining," she agreed. "You're not embarrassed, are you?"

"I hope the rain stays away so it won't spoil our wedding, tomorrow. And rain won't help our wedding photos any."

"You are. You're embarrassed."

"Are we going to change the subject, or not?"

"I don't see why. I'm the one with all the problems, not you." Maddie looked out her window, as if trying to not make him any more self-conscious than she already had. "I was the one with the list. You don't have anything to be embarrassed about."

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it's not helping. My face is growing warmer, and your brother will be here any second." Terry pushed open the driver's side door. "I need air."