Song Stories

Back to December

Back to December by: Taylor Swift

Slight triggering themes, warning

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I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

Good God I can't believe it's you. You look great, a little paler, but great. I can't talk, though. My cheeks are hollowed in, and I know I'm much paler. The smeared mascara from another breakdown, my eyes and face red from crying. I'm so happy for you, you got a new job. I know you hated the old one. You're not responding to me as easily as you used to. I understand why.

Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

My most regrettable moment was when I left you that night in the street. You gave me everything, and I tossed it aside. I couldn't handle it back then, I couldn't handle you. I'd never been treated with so much love, I thought something must have been wrong. I knew I wasn't good enough for you, so I broke up with you before you could break up with me. I hate myself for that.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time

I can't believe I'm doing this, I'm telling you. I'm telling you how I cut when I broke up with you, how my terrible excuses didn't mean squat. How I lied to do what I thought was saving you, but was only hurting me. That December night is one I'll never forget.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I'd loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you rightI'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

I miss you so much. I'm telling you in hopes you'll forgive me. I'm not expecting you to, but hope still exists. I deserve for you to leave me. But in all selfishness, I want you for myself. I still remember that night in December, when I let you see me cry for the first time. I don't let anyone see me cry, but I just couldn't handle the stress that night. You held me until I fell asleep and woke up in the morning. I want to go back to that. I miss you so much it hurts.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time all the time

I'm not surprised you left. I'm also not surprised I'm on the ground sobbing. Goodbye.

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A/N: I'm so sorry! I KNOW it's been like a month since I've updated but I've just been so busy lately and haven't known what song to do. Pleeaaasse comment any songs you want me to do on the next post I do, which is a request form. Don't be a silent reader! You can also comment theories, alternate endings, ANYTHING! I would LOVE to hear them! Tata for now, lowkeyfangirrl