Walking to work in my purple blouse and my black pants, I can't stop looking at my left hand. It was just so beautiful. It gave me a spring in my step and confidence in my smile. Soon I will be Mrs.Dudley. Sighh. It sounds so right! Feeling the May breeze in my hair and on my face, I take a deep breath and inhale... spring. My second favorite season. Everything is coming alive again after the long winters rest and in the presence of love is growing and nourishing peacefully and beautifully. I exhale and keep going on my way.
I arive at the Pre-School and organize the books they was they should be and straighten the chairs and wipe down the tables. I start going through some of the finger painting projects the kids finished last Friday. School was almost out, part of me would miss them. Miss teaching over the summer. But the other part was happy and proud and excited. They are good kids. They all will go far. I was excited for the summer that James and I would have together, enjoying the weather and having fun.
Parents start ariving with their children and coming in to say good bye. Liz, who was my best friens through out high school and who is also a teacher here came up to me.
"Hey Rennae! " she said in her low sexy voice. "How was your weekend? "
"Well......." I said and held up my hand to let her exsamine my most precious possesion.
"OHH EMMM GEEEIIIII!!!!! " she squeeled. " He did it!! He did it!"
"Yupp." I reply smiling calmly but excitedly.
"He did it!" Liz repeated more teance like that excited.
"Um.. yeah, I know Liz." I look at her strangly.
"I just... I just can't believe he actually... did it!"her voice quivered. I looked up at her. Her eyes were over flowing wirh tears.
"TEACHER! TEACHER! MS. RENNEA!! " one of my students; Brandon called "MRS. LIZ-ES-ES -ES EYES ARE GOING POTTY!! " I try not to laugh or roll my eyes. Liz looked down at Brandon who was wearing a green t-shirt with a dinosaure on it and kahki shorts and skeletoes. He was absolutly adorable. Her eyes didn't seem to stop. She looked sad now.
"Um Brandon" I say " why dont you put your book bag in your cubby and I'll take care of Mrs. Liz and her little acsident?" he giggled and took off. "DON'T RUN!! " I called after him. I turned to Liz, I could tell she was trying to get ahold of herself. I wonder what was really the matter. "Liz, hun, do you need some coffee or something? " I offered my care.
She sniffeles and replys "Ren, I'm so happy for you! And I well, I didn't have a great weekend... "she trails off. Then I notice. Oh my God. Her 8 month pregnant belly was gone. She could tell I noticed. I could feel the shock on my face. Frozen there. Dammit Rennea!! Stop gaping like a dumb ass bitch!!
"Lizzy, I'm so sorry." She had a misscarage. The 3rd one in two years. She and her husband David had been trying for a while now. I felt crushed and it wasnt even me who should be hurting. But somehow thoughts of James couldn't cover up this pain and loss. She was almost there.
She sobs into my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her. She has to go face kids all day. What a slap in the face. I make a quick call to the owner of the preschool and take Liz out to her car and get her in. We are taking a sick day.
