The Poisoner's Game

Chapter 26

M.

"I watched the house most of yesterday, and I only saw an old woman come and go." Alexander tapped his foot against the floor of the carriage.

I pulled my cloak resolutely around my shoulders, watching the townhouse disappear as we turned the corner. "We may visit then?"

"Yes," Alexander said, further words paused on his lips. "I only wish we had more time to be sure."

I avoided his eyes the whole ride. When I first left him, my mind hadn't fully absorbed the complications I had created for myself. I should never have gone to Alexander's residence alone. Alexander didn't want to marry me, he didn't even love me, and I had allowed him to take wife liberties.

The liberties only a girl of loose morals would give.

A mix of shame and compassion filled me as I faced my own culpability and the extensive list of admirable women who'd fallen before me. I wondered if the matrons, the judges, the Queen, and even God were right. Yet, their verdict of my sins, whether real or reserved for the last judgement, didn't ring through my head like it usually did.

That scared me the most. The idea that I had completely given myself over to another person. A person who had the ability to ruin me and toss me out like I had little more value than the contents of a slop bucket. If things got out of hand, no one would believe my word. I had completely given myself over with no expectation, or hope, that he might return my affections.

I needed to protect myself and that meant pushing away Alexander.

Alexander watched me with hooded eyes, arms folded across his broad chest. "We must proceed with caution. Remember that, Margaret. Be aware of everything and if something seems wrong, even if you're not sure, tell me. I'll bring my pistol, but that will only get us so far if this turns out to be a ruse."

"I will." I bit the insides of my cheeks, nausea settling in the pit of my stomach.

Ruse—a word I was all too familiar with now. I quickly glanced toward Alexander, his dark gaze searched mine as though trying to extract information from me. They all wanted something from me. What did I want?

Alexander broke the silence as we neared our destination, "I've been thinking, maybe, you should stay in the carriage." He peeked out of the window at the small terraced house, located near the Trident Café. We pulled in on the opposite side of the street from the address, in case we needed a speedy escape.

"Absolutely not, Number Three. The note was for me. With your large stature and that fearsome expression upon your face, you will likely frighten away whoever wishes to speak with me."

I looked at him straight in the eye for the first time that day, an anger growing inside of me. He held my gaze, before looking away. I left the carriage without his assistance.

Alexander jumped down and immediately pushed me behind his tall frame, shielding me with his body. I breathed in his scent, and with his eyes forward it gave me a moment to soak him in. At any moment, this all would end. I wrenched my gaze away, shuttering any thoughts of a future—I wouldn't allow myself to be hurt.

We crossed the street, pushing our way through the crush of pedestrians, and keeping out of the way of the horses. The building was made of cheap red brick with cracked grey mortar. Slightly warped with age, the wooden door stood as the gateway between questions and answers. After a moment of hesitation, I lifted my hand to knock on the door. Alexander did the same, we both stared at each other.