Little sad writings

Where she is..

And when she left, it was like my body couldn't function. I was tense or twitching, my mind couldn't focus on anything, it was always racing in circles which would bring on headaches and sleepiness. My tiredness only grew; I never really sleep. I close my eyes and my brain would be a black clean slate for me to be lost in.

And when she's here, its worse. All my mind thinks of is 'if she thinks I'd wanted it I'd... ' I never know where to look, how to speak, or how to act. I never know if what I'm doing is right or wrong and to this very day I still don't. I make plans which turn to dust when I'm near him or I make a promise which last three days before i cave and beg for forgiveness knowing I'd been a brat or greedy.

when I crack, it hits my stomach and makes me sick. Food becomes an enemy I can no longer to afford playing friends with. My mind saddens my heart wrapping itself in scars hoping to protect it from the next round pain crashing through the air. Bells ring people come running like its Black Friday and my heart is for sale and the only one left in stock.

After the stampede,I shun people who are reach out to me, who help and try for me. I back myself in a corner and hide in hopes that maybe it wasn't my fault when everyone looks at me like why are you here, why did you even look at me, who are you to speak?

And even after all this time, I still begging for forgiveness, for hope because on even my good days, i will sit and choke on my words, smiling from ear to ear. Wondering where she is..

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313 words..

Sorry its not much..