Little sad writings

Saddest Poetic Moment

I guess the saddest poetic moment for me was when you told me you'd miss me. I knew then that this was a hole for you to fall into and I decided not to tell you.  You walked with me blindly, happy it seemed.  I knew all strings had to be cut and all emotions had to go out the window. I wished the planets would aline and the stars would shoot across the sky, making all wishes true. You were so into me, I couldn't believe it. You just so eccentric, sitting there with no worries in your head while I'm crumbling at false words. You always kept things together but I guess that's the problem. my life is only falling apart.  You wouldn't last a day in my life and it's like we are opposites, but you know what they say opposites attract.

I would get frustrated with myself. I knew I would have to stop loving you. I knew that all the romance in the world couldn't hold up against my fate. I was so hypnotized by your spirit. your spirit felt so calming like standing in a pool by yourself and you can just feel the water accept you and hold you. Your spirit was my drug and god, you never missed a delivery. I was so high on you, you were okay with that, loved it even. but one day I woke up sober without you and it hit me hard in the chest. it was in my head. when I look at you now, I see the circles under your eyes and I feel your sore muscles. I never once wanted this for you and because of that, I let you go. even if it would cause me to crash and withdraw. 

You always told me that you could take care of me; you told me you could handle this and I knew that you couldn't. I could see it in your eyes that I was draining you. you wouldn't tell me though, even if it was so clear to the rest of us. when someone would ask me about you, I would tell you are doing okay, working and doing what you can and it always felt wrong. you weren't okay, well at least you didn't look it. I always hoped it wasn't true. It reminded me of your last relationship, how she drained you just like I did. I never knew I was such a black hole. I always wondered if you saw me like that. But it seemed like until now I right. Or maybe this is in my mind after all. I want to ask you, but I know I shouldn't.