In Between Life and Death
I woke up with an uneasy feeling. I know that I am lying in a cold steel but I don't feel cold at all. I tried to remember again what happened and it strikes me.
'I'm still alive?' The one question that's running out of my mind right now.
I should be dead by now because I committed suicide. I sat in the steel and look around but I cannot see a thing because of the dark. I remove the sheet on my body and stand, hoping that I can see the door. But before I could ever step my toes, I saw my parents standing on the doorway.
'Oh, what are they doing in here? Gosh. ' I walk towards them but it seems like they didn't saw me because they directly look in the steel where I came from. When I got to where they are, I am about to say sorry for my action but they passed through me.. literally passed through me.
Oh gosh. I AM really dead. I wiped the tears that came out of my eyes. 'Hey. This is what you want. You don't have the right to cry.' I murmured to myself.
So, I walk again towards my parents, only to see my dead body and my parent's resentment.
"A-amethyst... what have you done to yourself? *cry*" my father, who is now crying, hugged my mother after she says those word.
"This is all my fault. I didn't give her the attention that she needs. Oh gosh. If only I gave it to her. She will never ever think of doing this." And then cry again.
All I can do right now is to cry with them. I never thought that they will cry this hard when I die. I didn't know. They are not that close to me, actually. They are always in a business trip, the reason why they don't have enough time to me. I tried to get their attention by getting high grades in school but it wasn't enough. They can only saw my two bigger sister. So, I stopped. And I thought my death would give them happiness because finally! They don't need to deal with a failure daughter but now, what are they doing? It is not supposed to be like this. I hugged them and cry with them. It hurts to know that they are crying for me. I don't want them to be in pain that's why I ended my life. And the room is filled with a loud cry.
My burial was held in a small church near our house. When my body got into the center of the church, the priest blessed it first. And a day after that, many people came and send their own condolences. I even saw someone cry because of me. I am actually shock to know that many people came here. I thought they will be happy to know that I am dead.
Thinking about how they treat me before, this is not the outcome that I am expecting. I am about to get out of the church when I saw my ex-bestfriend came in. I am about to get pass through her, because I don't want to remember all of her lies, but as soon as I saw a tear drop from her eyes made me forget everything. All I can remember now is the good things that she did to me. How she brushes my hair whenever we're eating our lunch. How she composed jokes for me to laugh. How she makes an effort for my birthdays. And how she made me feel loved when everyone around me turns their back against me. My tears suddenly falls without my permission.
"Oh gosh. What the fuzz am I doing here? I should be in hell now. Why are they making me feel this way? I don't want to feel it. Please, get me out of here. I don't want to witness it all." I said with my hands on my chest. I looked back at her when I heard her cry. She's now in front of my coffin. I walk towards her and hug her. I don't care about how she used me. I don't care how she framed me up about something that I didn't do. I don't care about all the wrong doings she have done. Because all I can remember is her emotions. All of the emotions she had shown me was all true. Gosh. Why am I just realizing it now?
"K-kitty.." she broke her voice as soon as she said those words. And I, myself, broke down too because that's our pet name to each other. "*sob* What have you done to yourself? *cries* Oh, gosh. My sweet and innocent bestfriend."