What does the 'G' stand for? Cucumber.

Part 1: Crunchy Water

Divya G, what does the G stand for? Getitgirl, had never liked crunchy water. Except for ice. Ice was okay. Ice was natural. What the heck was a cucumber even? It was the pickle that lost the contest. Also, she didn't like pickles.
Divya woke up from sleeping, which is like the only thing a person can wake up from, and went to look at herself in the mirror. She still looked like a loser. But like an adorable loser. The kind of loser that was probably relatable and likable. She had dark hair, dark eyes, glasses - that she'd put on as soon as she'd woken up because she didn't sleep in them, what? - and a sleepy face. 
What she was wearing probably didn't matter but it was clothes. She was wearing clothes. 
"DIVYA G!" her mother, who would only exist for the length of chapter 1 and never be mentioned again, called from downstairs, "YOU'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"

Divya couldn't remember a time in her life when she wasn't late for school. In fact, it happened every single morning but her mother never thought to wake her up earlier.  Divya rushed downstairs. "Don't forget to eat your breakfast, Divya." Her mother said.
"Mom, I'm already late as it is." Said Divya. 
Her mother placed a plate in front of her with a cucumber on it. 
Divya looked at her, "Am I a joke to you." 

"You're a joke to everyone, Divya." her mother retorted.
Divya rolled her eyes and stuffed the cucumber in her backpack because that's how she do. Then she raced out of the door to try to make it to school on time. 

She rushed into homeroom just after the bell had rung. It was the first day of school for her. Her mother had moved them across the country just before Winter break. So she didn't recognize a face in there.  Every seat was taken except, incidentally, the one that was beside the hottest brooding-est guy in the entire school. He had tattoos, piercings, and no shirt on. How did he get away with it? Divya didn't know. 
"Is this seat taken?" 
He just stared at her. 
"...I'm gonna sit." She said. 
Divya sat. 
He just stared at her. 
Divya sniffed uncomfortably. Then looked back at him. "Math. Am I right?" 
Then she awkwardly laughed. 
"My name is --" The bell rang and she didn't hear his name. 
"Omg you're so lucky that Broodenly talked to you." said some nondescript girl who looked like she was destined to be a best friend. 
"Is that even a name?" Divya asked. 
The nondescript girl threw back her head in vigorous laughter at that hilarious joke Divya just made. Divya did not know she'd said something funny. 
"Of COURSE it's a name." Said the girl, "It's his name. Therefore it's a name. He's like the hottest guy in school, right? All the girls want him." 
"Cool. Where's my next class?" Divya asked showing the girl her schedule.
The girl looked at the schedule with Divya, "Oh, lunch is next."
"Lunch?" Divya asked, "It's like eight AM I just ate breakfa---"
But Divya had not just eaten breakfast. She just remembered that fact. She hadn't eaten breakfast at all. She'd stuffed a cucumber in her backpack. 
She must have been scowling because the girl commented. 
"Why are you scowling?" 
"Cucumbers." Divya responded. 
"What." 
"Nothing." Divya shook it off, "My name is Divya what's yours?"
"Tiltanivana"
"I'm Divya G." Divya responded.
"What does the G stand for?"
"Gettingthemgrades!" Divya laughed humorlessly. 
They entered the cafeteria and it occurred to Divya she didn't know what she was in for. 

"What's for lunch?" Divya asked Tittle--Tiltivania--...Tilly. Divya asked Tilly. 
"It's Wednesday, right?" Tilly asked. 
Divya didn't know what day it was so she just went with it.
"Cucumber sandwiches." Tilly said.
Divya, who had already dodged her nutrition for the day, made her thoughts known, "That's gross." 
Why couldn't she escape the cucumbers? Was it fate? Destiny? A horse? It was clear to her what she needed to do. 
Before she could make her escape, however,  Tilly grabbed her by the arm.
"OMG." said Tilly, pointing across the cafeteria, "Broodenly is staring at you in slow motion."
Divya wanted to ask how that was possible but if she wanted to avoid the crunchy water she had to get out of there stat. 
"Well, I'm gonna go." Divya said, "Gotta hit the books. Gotta study. I'm sure he'll be fine." 
Divya booked it alright. She booked it out of the cafeteria faster than you could say, 'forced love triangle'. She rushed to her locker and pulled out her backpack. Then she ducked into the nearest supply closet and started to dig around inside her bag.
One thing was for sure, the cucumber was clearly cursed. A cursed cucumber cursing her with a day of cucumbers. With its green bumpy skin, its tasteless flavor, its like...weird...dissolving seeds. It was weird. The whole thing was weird and it was ruining her life. 
 Before she could find it, she heard an announcement over the intercom.
"Divya G please come to the principal's office." 
Apparently, the people in this town took their salads very seriously. Sullenly, Divya made her way to the principal's office. When she opened the door, she saw her mother standing there with a wide smile.
"Surprise, Divya." Her mother said, "I'm here to take you home early because we're going on a Christmas vacation."
"Seriously, mom? Why'd you even send me to school this morning if you knew that? Also Christmas is still a month away do you not care about my education?"
Her mother didn't answer any of these legitimate questions. She only hugged Divya and said, "Let's get you home so you can pack and we can get out of here." 

According to her mother, Divya was going to spend the holidays on the family ranch in Smalltownville where everyone inexplicably either owned a horse or loved a horse. Why hadn't they moved to the ranch? Divya didn't know. It would have made too much sense, probably. Divya cared about her mom but her mom rarely made sense. She was, after all, taking Divya back out of school to go to some ranch in the middle of no place.
Divya didn't bother to unpack her backpack, stuffing her clothes and things all around the textbooks and crumpled up notebook pages. 
Then she and her mom began the long drive. 
The ranch looked like a ranch. It hard horses and fences and random piles of wood and a barn. Which made it a ranch. Also there was a house. That part was pretty important because the family needed places to sleep. 
"We're here." Her mother said after she'd already pulled into the driveway. 
Divya had gathered as much. 
Everyone in the house came rushing out of the front door to greet Divya and her mother. After everyone greeted each other, they got into it.
"Divya, when are you going to meet a nice boy?"
"Divya when are you going to get married?"
"Divya I know a couple with a real nice boy about your age."
As soon as she could, Divya got out of socializing. She got her aunt to show her the guest room she'd be staying in.
Once she was safely behind that door Divya dumped out the contents of her backpack. Clothes and textbooks exploded out of it, followed by the pieces of notebook paper. Last of all, a cucumber landed on top of the entire pile. 
Divya grabbed the cucumber, "I knew it! You're responsible for this."
The cucumber, being a cucumber, said nothing. 
Divya narrowed her eyes at it. So long as it was there, and she had no intention of eating it, it could make itself useful. If she wanted to spend the month with her family not trying to hook her up with a boyfriend, she needed a plan.
"Okay..." she said to the cucumber, "you're here...and so am I...so why don't we take advantage of this?"
The cucumber, being a cucumber, said nothing. 
"...You pretend to be my boyfriend slash fiancee and I don't dump you in the bin." 
The cucumber didn't say no, so Divya figured an agreement had just been made. 
She shook the cucumbers hand and the game was on. 

It was going to be a long Christmas break.