"Drowning in the dark ,deafened by the silence, screaming yet unheard , My heart is beating but I don't feel alive my heart is beating yet it's killing me with the stabbing pains, from shards, broken,bleeding, crying ; but u see I'm smiling I'm bright eyed and seemingly ok all the pain is in my head because of the barriers I have put up because of the guards standing at the flood gates, the gates holding back the black tar of fear, regret, loss, tears,blood,time;
Time that broke me time that made me grow but I question if I grew right, I am not sure of myself of my life of my worth ,but I smile; I smile for others
When I'm crying in my mind; So when those flood gates crack people are confused because I haven't opened people are confused because I haven't told my story, From there on it is labeled as drama or an act because when I don't smile they don't understand ; yet I have no one to blame but myself because I have not opened because I have not showed because I have not told, I think I'm doing right by hiding the tar;the dark;the Arctic Water; but partially I was wrong, partially because some don't deserve to hear my pain ; and partially because I feel some can't be trusted with my tears, but I end this note with one word 'life' because this is life for many, not all because life is precious even when it seems pointless, life is what taught me my strength life is what taught me my weakness, so go on. Let it hurt let it love. Feel it. Just don't drown.
Thank u to those who took the time to read it
