Janice Carol and the Gods of Asgard

Beware the frost giant named Utgard Loki!

Hello! This is the story of how I died! I know, you're going to be like, aww, Janice, can't I die in pain too? No, just, no. Don't go throwing yourself off buildings, pretending to be Spider-man or try kill giants with only a Make Way For Ducklings sign. Don't do anything like that. If you live near Boston and feel a tremble in the ground, run as fast as you can from there because Logan might've unleashed the hellhounds there. Or Penelope is killing Quince with an ax for stealing her cookies again. I better tell this story quick because if I miss out on Ultimate Spider-man season five, Red is going to kill me. 

It started as normal as my day could go, going off to college and trying to survive Calculus. My dad sent me off to school as usual, giving me a donut and coffee from Starbucks with a cheerful Good luck on your calculus quiz, honey! I hate tests. On the way to my college, I passed a group of college kids, one of them was my friend Gary. He had accepted me for who I was, a child of two male adults. He waved to me jovially, his flaming pointy hair easy to spot in a crowd. The group turned to look at me. 

"Oh look, it's the weirdo with the weird eyes." Someone said, and the entire group laughed. Well, all of them except Gary. 

He shot a glare at them as he walked over to me. Gary then linked arms with me and we made our way across campus. 

"Hey, Jan." He smiled, using his nickname for me. 

"Don't call me that." I swatted away his hand that was going to ruffle my hair. 

"Awwww, but you love it." Gary pouted. 

"Do not." I argued back. 

He rolled his eyes. Well, eye. Yes, Gary had one eye. The spot were his other eye was covered with metal that whirled and make noises. I often called him Lucien, a character in one of the books I've read who had a similar condition. Gary often called me a nerd. 

"Read any books recently?" He asked.

"About death and sorrow, because this is what my life is about." I responded, looking up at the sign of our college: University of Massachusetts: Welcome students! Other cheesy slogans were splashed against the walls of the doorway as well. 

He let out a chuckle of dry humor and then went still. "What in Helheim is that?" I turned around and looked to where he was pointed and my eyes went wide with shock.

"Is that a giant eagle?!" My voice came out as a squeak.

"Vanir-spawn." The bird opened its' beak and a croak that sounded like that happened. 

Gary's eye had turned into a cold gaze as he stared at the bird. "When things call me that, it usually means that they want something."

"That's right." The bird cawed. "An apple of immortality please. Or your friends life." 

"Ugh, wait, I know you. You're Utgard-Loki." Gary frowned. 

"Correctamundo!" Utgard-Loki said. 

Now, tell me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure eagles aren't supposed to talk or have said correctamundo. Before my very own eyes, the eagle grew into a man, more like the Marvel's description of Loki than the book version. 

"Where do you think that came from, Aesir-spawn?" Utgard-Loki looked at me. 

"Nosy mind-snooper." I mumbled. 

"Don't talk to her like that!" Gary somehow managed to get ahold of two blades. 

He tossed one to me and I barely caught it. 

"The girl dies first! Then I'll take care of you permanently!" The giant swung his huge sword---WAIT HOW DID HE GET A SWORD---and decapitated me.